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I've resurrected.

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I'm not dead.

Despite my radio silence for quite a while, I have been working.  I'm in the middle of a re-read and minor rewrite of the "Lords of Kobol" trilogy.  After that, I intend to fully dive back into Book Five.

More posts to come in the near future on the rewrites and what's ahead.

Thanks for your patience.

Writing, Again: Part I

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Where, oh where, have I been?

Around.  Doing stuff.  Not writing, though.  Believe me, I'd rather be writing than just about anything else.

I've had a taste for Kobol for a few months now.  I get a germ of an idea of how to handle something in Book Five ... and I scribble it down, hoping I don't forget the essence of it whenever I decide to get cracking on that again.

I got tired of having those thoughts and feelings and decided to just go for it.  I can't, however, dive into Book Five without my head in the right place, so I'm re-reading the Trilogy.

A few chapters into Book One, I decided that a rewriting was in order, too.


Book One was always, always a mean pill.  Almost a chore.  Don't get me wrong; I love it, but it was a tough nut to crack.

I knew I wanted to parallel the Thirteenth Tribe with the Lords themselves and that meant not only setting up this Utopia that the Lords created, but also showing the creation of the organic Cylons and coming up with a reason to get them to leave Kobol.  I went through a few different versions of the book before I clicked "publish."

In the end, I was satisfied if not entirely pleased.  Reading it again ... I don't know.  I'm a hard critic, especially on myself.  I found that it drags in places (something echoed by a few reviews, too).  More egregious than that, I realized how often I "told" instead of "showed." Meaning, instead of presenting action or dialogue about a subject or scene, the author just typed a bunch of paragraphs about it.  That's lazy.

So I re-wrote.  I "showed" where I quite unnecessarily "told." In tightening things up, I removed five chapters that didn't add to the overarching narrative (a couple were about establishing the Lords and their place in the world, a couple were about the organic Cylons).

I hit "publish" again.  Yes, the edits are final and they're available now on Smashwords (filtering out to other ebook retailers in the coming days/weeks).  Click the banner:


The chapters I removed?  You can read them after the JUMP.


This Demeter chapter is one of those "world-building chapters" I mentioned.  Even though it presents a mood piece about the gods and how they're worshipped, its characters and the situation don't factor into the main tale (beyond the fact that the Lords are feeling old and stale).  Also, I got to show off a bit of my ancient Greek worship and mythology knowledge.

X
DEMETER
2,609 Years Before the Final Exodus

"Hail, Demeter Anesidora," the priestess said from atop the steps.  "May her fertile fields continue to reap great bounties!"

Demeter stood and bowed.  She flung her arms wide and from the flaming cauldron, shoots of wheat sprayed into the air and rained down onto the crowd.  They applauded and pulled the grain from their hair.  Demeter rose and said, her voice booming, "The ground will provide."

The gathered thousands applauded again and turned toward their plates.  Demeter walked around the end of her table and sat behind her own plate of fruit, beside the Goddess Hestia.

"Nice trick," she said quietly.

Demeter grinned, "Poseidon did something like it with fish a while back."

"Oh, Poseidon," Hestia said.  "I haven't heard you mention his name in some time."

Demeter shook her head and looked toward the crowds.  "There hasn't been a need to mention it."

They sat on the marble platform above the small square and cordoned-off streets of downtown Theonpolis.  The Opera House loomed nearby and traffic had to make do with only two thirds of that circle being open.  Centuries ago, these harvest festivals were held in the nearby town of Eleusis, the first true farming community Demeter established with the humans on Kobol.  That village faded as did Kobol's reliance on traditional agriculture.

"Don't you wish you had a temple to call your own?" Demeter asked.  "A place to gather hundreds or thousands of people to listen to your every word?"

Hestia shook her head and ate an orange.  "No.  You know every hearth in every home is an altar to me."

Demeter laughed.  "That's more than enough."

"You've always been a hard one to placate with worship," Demeter said.

"You used to be," Hestia responded.  "What changed?"

She tilted her head and said, softly, "Once it dwindled a while back, I missed it."

Hestia nodded and lifted an apple slice.  "What changed?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Hestia tried to say with part of an apple in her mouth.  She chewed a few times and then said from the left side of her mouth, "I mean, what changed as far as the worship?  This doesn't look like dwindling to me."

Demeter nodded and she looked at her plate.  Colorful fruits and a few vegetables.  She turned toward one of the attending priestesses, "Melissa Carme, can you bring us some fresh bread?"

She bowed and said, "Of course, Goddess."  She ran into the temple.

Demeter opened her mouth as though she was about to speak, but she didn't make a sound.  She closed her mouth and sank in her chair a little.  The priestess emerged with a platter of bread, and as she placed it on the table, she sensed the change in Demeter's Chara.  Frightened, she ran back to her position on the steps, outside of the Chara's range.  Finally, Demeter spoke, "It started again about eight years ago.  The harvest season after Persephone … died."

Hestia stopped chewing and she turned toward Demeter slowly.  Her eyes were wide and then, as she realized where Demeter was going with this, her eyes rolled back into her head.  A silent cursing of her own stupidity.

"There was a drought.  It wasn't damaging to the world, really.  No one went hungry."  Demeter cleared her throat.  "But the smaller communities that still relied on local farming and harvests … they were hit hard."

"I'm sorry, Demeter," Hestia said.  "I didn't think."

"No, that's fine," she said.  "The people connected one with the other.  Especially since I didn't attend the Spring festival that year."  Demeter pulled the red poppy from her gown and looked at it for a moment before tossing it to the table.

Hestia took a piece of bread and ate it quickly.  The people below were eating and laughing cheerfully.  She glanced over at Demeter.  She seemed to be forcing a grin onto her face.

"I'm worried, Hestia."

She swallowed the bread and asked, quietly, "Why?"

Demeter sighed.  "I'm worried that Persephone was only the beginning."


This next chapter is all about the creation of the organic Cylons.  The information in it is nothing that couldn't have been summarized and included in other chapters.

XIII
TRITOS
2,606 Years Before the Final Exodus

It was a beautiful day in the park.  Tritos was in his usual place, sitting under a tree, while his mother and father sat at separate tables in the sunlight.  The birds sang above him.  Bicyclists rolled past along the nearby path.  The Temple of Poseidon sat on the hilltop.  There was a new addition, though.  Tritos' young father.  He was lying on a third table between his parents.

"It is complete," Helena said.  She stood from her table and went to look at young Thersites closely.

"Ready for transfer."  Thersites hadn't looked at his younger self all day.  Tritos noticed this.

Young father began to twitch.  Helena walked around the table, checking on the young man.  And then the twitching stopped.

"Thersites, can you hear me?" she said.

Tritos instinctively looked to his father, still sitting at his table.  But his father didn't look away.  Tritos looked back to the table and saw young father – young Thersites – moving his head.  He wasn't moving a while ago.

"Yes.  I hear you," he said.

Helena shined a light into young father's eyes.  "When we spoke at breakfast this morning, I said three, unrelated words.  What were they?"

Young Thersites licked his lips loudly.  "Boat. Grandmother.  Asteroid."

Helena glanced over at older Thersites, "And you?  What were the three words I told you?"

Without turning away, Thersites responded, "Yesterday, you told me, 'Boat, grandmother and asteroid.'  This morning it was, 'Piano, grass and moon.'"

Yesterday?  Tritos tried to remember yesterday.  Ah, yes.  Yesterday afternoon, old father and young father were connected by gray tubes stuck in their heads. 

Helena nodded and went back to her table.  "I just wanted to make sure there wasn't any kind of residual connection."

Young father looked as though he was struggling to get off the table.  Tritos wanted to help.  He tried to get up from under the tree, but then he realized he couldn't move.  He was still tied to a chair.

The realization took the image of the park away.  No more birds.  No more sunlight.  He was back in the dimly lit laboratory under a barn.  But it seemed so real!  Every time he "went" to the park, there seemed to be new details.  The birds flying above were geese.  He hadn't noticed that before.

Tritos tried to remember the birds and he found himself denying that there wasn't a real park.  His parents had never taken him there.  It was "implanted" in his memory, if he had understood them correctly.  So many places and things in his head!  He had walked the streets of Theonpolis.  He stood at the top of a skyscraper in Delphi.  He smelled the ocean air by the docks in Argos.  All of those sensations were there, in his mind, but he knew he had never really been in those places.

Where had Tritos been?  Where had he really gone?  It took effort for him to parse the real from the implanted.  He spent nearly all of his time in the laboratory and in the side room where he slept under lock and key.  One time, his mother took him up into the barn and he touched a cow.  He even caught a glimpse of daylight before father found them and yelled.

And what memories were real?  Tritos had no way of knowing.  Some days he would awaken with a headache and his mother would ask about the time they went horseback riding, or something else.  Yes, he remembered it vividly then, as she asked, but he struggled to think of a time before that point when he recalled bouncing on the horse with the saddlehorn irritating his crotch.  After a lot of thought, Tritos came to the conclusion that it had been implanted.

"Can you wipe him clean?" Helena asked.

Thersites lowered his head, "We just got him going.  We should run more tests."

She shook her head.  "We've run tests on your clones for the last two years.  We've perfected the connected upload.  We need to develop a wireless upload."

He slammed his fist on the desk, "I'm not a communications expert!  And neither are you."

Helena stood, "Perhaps you have someone else in mind?  Someone else you can ensnare?"

For the first time in hours, Thersites turned to face her.  "'Ensnare?'  You came here of your own free will.  You have remained here of your own free will."

She walked over to Tritos while she spoke, "Only because I cannot fathom the punishment for what we've done."  She leaned over and brushed Tritos' cheek.  He smiled.

"If we're successful," Thersites said as he returned to his processors, "There will be no punishment."
Helena held her son's face in her hands, "Are you hungry?"

Thersites didn't like it when Tritos spoke, so he nodded, still smiling.  Helena disappeared and returned quickly with a drink and straw.  She held it for him so he could drink.  Fruit!  Tritos' favorite.  He swigged half the glass down and whispered to her, "Thank you, mother."  She answered with a smile.

Helena let Tritos finish and then she wiped his mouth with a cloth.  She returned to her workstation and began typing on the computer.  "Blank your younger self.  We can try a connected, non-invasive upload tomorrow."

Thersites said nothing.  He shook his head slowly and mumbled something that Tritos didn't hear.  Tritos didn't like the way his father treated his mother.  Sometimes it made him angry.

This next chapter is another "world-builder" with a Lord who isn't integral to this particular part of the story.

XIX
HERA
2,597 Years Before the Final Exodus

She stood atop the steps of her temple in Theonpolis and lifted her arms toward the sky.  It was dusk and the sun was setting to her right already.

"This evening," she said, her voice booming across the festival square, "we bring together thousands in holy matrimony."  There was scattered applause and cheers.  Men and women held each other tighter.  Some men held their soon-to-be husbands more closely.  Female lovers kissed.

Hera lifted her right arm.  The marble peacocks on either side of the temple's steps began to glow and streams of colored light poured into the air.  A bronze cow lifted from the altar and hovered down the steps.  Priests, priestesses and worshippers alike bowed toward the figure as it completed its circuit before returning to the altar.  "In the name of the Lords of Kobol," she began, "we bless these unions."

She smiled broadly and nodded toward waiting acolytes.  They carried large, brass bowls into the crowd.  Brides and grooms took pomegranate arils from the vessels and placed them on their tongues.  After several minutes, the acolytes returned and a single girl carried her bowl toward the altar before which Hera stood.

Taking one seed from the bowl, she looked across the audience and said, "May your marriages be as sweet as this."  She put the aril in her mouth and bit it.  The familiar taste washed over her tongue and, yes, it was sweet.  The lovers in attendance bit their seeds finally and then embraced their new spouses.  They kissed and shouted their thanks to the "Queen of Heaven."

She moved down the temple steps and into the crowd.  Naturally, as a god, she stood taller than the people around her.  Her white gown flowed behind and her long, brown hair was kept neatly restrained within her crown.  She lightly touched the shoulders of all that she passed.

"Thank you, goddess," one woman gushed.  Her face was dominated by a beaming smile undoubtedly aided by Hera's Chara.

"You are quite welcome," she said in return. 

"Goddess," a man called.  "I hope you can bless us."

Hera turned and looked toward the man.  "Oh, a group family.  How nice.  How many of you were married before today?"

One couple, a man and woman, raised their hands.  They were surrounded by two other men and three other women.  "Do you often see unions of this size?" a wife asked.

"No, we don't."  Hera moved to their side and began placing her hands on their shoulders.  "May your hearts grow as big as your family."  They bowed as she touched them and she smirked.  "And may your home grow in size, too, if you need it."  They laughed and bowed to the goddess before she moved back into the crowd. 

As Hera touched the men and women on their shoulders, she pondered the irony of her station.  Popular as she was, Hera wasn't allowed on Mount Olympus.  Her marriage with the "King of Heaven" existed in name only, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of a divorce.  Yet, she was regarded as the goddess of marriage.  It was in her name that couples were wed.  Groups, too.  When she performed these mass ceremonies several times a year, she had to put on a good face.  It wasn't hard, though.  She enjoyed the attention.

Publicly, she maintained her love for Zeus and the Pantheon.  She was considered part of the Olympic Council, even though she never went to any of the meetings.  She knew that many people suspected strife between Zeus and Hera but she didn't have a problem with that.  Rumors of their difficulties were as ancient as Zeus' affairs with early tribal nymphs.  For many people, it was verified when Zeus claimed the strongman Heracles as his son.  Hera spoke against her husband for that at her temples, but it made no difference, really.  Some good literature was written, though.

"Goddess," one bride said as Hera touched her shoulder.

"Yes?"

The woman looked up and then to her now-nervous husband.  "I am so sorry, but … what does it mean if the juice from my pomegranate seed was sour and not sweet?"

The husband's face showed dismay, but Hera put her hand on both of their arms.  "Do not fret, my dear.  It simply means you got a sour seed.  There's no need to read anything more into it than that."

"It's not a bad omen?" the young man asked.

"No," Hera said.  "Not at all."

She turned and walked away.  She maintained her smile but she couldn't help berate them in her mind.  Superstitious lot.  All of Kobol seemed to be, nearly by definition.  She couldn't blame them, though. 
The crowd around her began to thin out.  Hera turned back toward the temple and began to walk.  She spotted the group family from before and she paused.  She watched as the men and women laughed and spoke to each other.  They touched each other lovingly and seemed to genuinely care for one another.  Hera moved toward them and spoke as she approached.

"Aphrodite has certainly blessed you all."  The seven spouses turned quickly and bowed when they saw Hera again.  "You seem to be filled with love for each other.  An abundance of it."

"Yes, goddess," one wife said.  "We attended an engagement festival of hers last year.  We believe she did bless us."

"Indeed," Hera replied.

"Thank you again, my Lord," a husband said.

Hera smiled and nodded slowly.  She looked across their faces and she felt … alone.  "Tell me, when you leave here today, will you be returning home to some sort of feast?"

They smiled and nodded.  "Yes, goddess," a few said.

Hera bowed before them and said, softly, "I humbly ask if I may be invited."

All of the spouses' eyes widened and they looked at each other.  "Goddess," one husband began, "we would like nothing more.  I fear that our home is small and a bit untidy."

Hera laughed, "I'm not the goddess of cleanliness."

A short, blonde woman stepped forward, bowed and took Hera's hand.  "Please, Lord Hera.  Will you join us for dinner?"

She leaned forward.  "I would be honored."

The seven were overjoyed and they bounced across the sidewalk as they guided Hera away from the temple and along Ouranos Avenue, west from the city's center and over an arm of the Peneius River.  They emerged on the western side of Theonpolis and in the residential area.  Hundreds of homes and apartment buildings filled the landscape and the family led Hera and the now-burgeoning crowd toward their own home.

They passed a few newer complexes before they came to a road with nothing but older homes.  The buildings weren't ramshackle, but they were in need of upkeep.  The seven spouses waved for Hera to follow them and they walked through a white picket fence's gate and onto a crowded lawn.  Several older people were already there and cooking over two grills.

"Goddess Hera!" one elderly woman exclaimed. 

She almost felt embarrassed and Hera nodded toward her.  "Good evening.  I hope you have enough for one more."

"Just one?" she replied. 

Hera turned and saw the dozens of people crowding at the edges of the yard and along the fence.  They were all smiling and eager to see a Lord among them in their own neighborhood.  "Well, it's your home.  If you can't handle the extra visitors, I'll ask them to leave."

The women looked at each other while an older man strode to the fence.  He leaned against it and spoke to one of the neighbors.  "If you and some others want to drag your grills over and bring your own meats, I think we can turn this into a block party."

Hera smiled and watched the visitors disperse toward their own homes.  She noticed for the first time how loud the dozens of hangers-on were once they were gone.  With the newfound silence, she looked toward the newlyweds and asked, "So?  What are your names?"

The wife who spoke the most before stepped forward and pointed at each of them while they tended to the food, the extra chairs or the running children.  Hera listened and nodded, but she knew she would never remember them all.  "And these are your parents?  Or at least parents-in-law?"

The woman chuckled and pointed again, "Yes.  This is my mother.  The rest are the parents of my husbands and wives."

Hera smiled and sat at the picnic table.  The wood creaked and her knees brushed the underside of the table's planks.  She was a bit too large though she didn't know where else to sit.  She gathered a handful of her white gown, wadded it up and placed it on the bench next to her.

For the next several minutes, she watched the family dart about the yard, in and out of the house and after laughing children.  She smiled.  It was noisy, yes.  But the business and the activity seemed to invigorate her.  She breathed deeply and just studied them all.  She felt dejected only once: when she realized that, in a few hours, she'd have to return to her solitary home at the Gates of Hera.  Hecate might be there, but even if she was, it wouldn't matter much. 

Wedding ceremonies aside, Hera felt useless.  She had been outside the loop for millennia and for nearly that long she had not helped the people in a way that she felt substantive.  Demeter visited Hera a few years ago, before Persephone's departure.  She felt the same way.

After a short while, some of the newlyweds sat down at the table with a plate of food.  They brought Hera a large selection of meats and vegetables.  "I didn't know what you would like, goddess."

She smiled at the overflowing paper plate and lifted a sausage wrapped in a pita.  "It all looks good."  She took a large bite and hesitated to allow the juices to flow in her mouth.  She closed her eyes for a moment and looked across the table.  "It is delicious.  Homemade sausage?"

"Yes, goddess," the woman said.  "My husband, Lathos, works on a farm in Eleusis.  They make all kinds of meat there."

"Mmm," Hera grunted as she ate more.  "He's one of the few farmers left there, isn't he?"

"I am," he said.  He sat down on the far end of the same bench as Hera.

"You needn't stay so far away, Lathos," she said.  "I won't bite."  He chuckled and slid a little closer.  Hera brought the sandwich back toward her mouth and she quickly said, "Not unless you taste as good as this."
Everyone laughed and began to eat now that the Lord had been served.  Hera finished the sausage and began to eat a bit of the beans.

"Goddess," one of the other wives began, "do you mind if I ask why you came?"

Hera lowered her fork and grinned.  "I enjoy the company of others.  You are surrounded," she looked around the yard and saw that neighbors' grills were smoking now just outside the yard, "by life and happiness.  I wanted to see it all for myself."

The woman nodded and returned to her meal.

After a moment, Hera looked at the house again.  The chipping paint caught her eye.  The aging wood.  "You are happy here, yes?"

The spouses looked up, some with full mouths, and nodded.  Some said, "Yes, goddess."

"Sometimes I fear … I worry that we may have given mankind too much.  That our desire for you to be free and happy has made you all dependent."

Lathos shook his head and sipped his water.  "No, goddess.  Not at all."  He swallowed his food with force and looked toward Hera.  "My husbands all have jobs.  We like the work.  Salo is a musician," he pointed to the short, blonde wife, "and two of our other wives have a gardening business together.  We know we are free to do nothing, but we enjoy the tasks we take on."

Salo straightened up as she spoke, "The gods provide all.  Our homes, our food, clothes and more.  We would be happy to accept those but we know that the Lords want us to better ourselves and Kobol by being involved in society.  We thank you for those gifts, certainly …"

"So say we all," the people around the table said.

"… but we are more than willing to do our part."

Hera smiled and said, "Good.  At least we've done that much."

This next chapter is a tricky one.  It's certainly important as it sets up Iole as Aurora's assistant and a spokesperson for the Thirteenth Tribe.  But it does so in a way that strikes me as clichéd now.  Anytime a woman goes through trauma, it seems, the author subjects the character to rape.  Well, Iole was no different.  I transplanted some of the important information to a later chapter, wherein Iole meets with Aurora.  There's a kind of double flashback there that feels unwieldy, but editing that will have to wait for a later rewrite.

XXXIII
IOLE
2,509 Years Before the Final Exodus

"Watch out for snakes."

Iole was used to this by now.  Some random passerby on the street throwing out a phrase or some other insult.  She had endured it for nearly a decade ever since her people had been noticed by everyone else.
"Noticed," that is, and not "revealed."  As there are only twelve different versions, it only took observant Kobollians a few years to notice that there seemed to be an awfully large number of similar looking people running around.  For decades, Iole and her brothers and sisters spread out across the planet, minimizing the amount of saturation in any given city.  But after some time, the new siblings would just stay near where they were created.  Theonpolis.

This was tough for Iole.  She had lived in Theonpolis ever since she came down from Mount Olympus.  She had been transferred to a new body twice: once after dying of old age and then again after a stupid boating accident.  Having more "copies" running around, she began to get the double-takes and the whisperings on the street.  Now that there were three thousand of her people, almost half of whom in Theonpolis, they couldn't be unnoticed any longer.

"Who are these people?" a news commentator began one night nine years ago.  The dechopem's screen shifted to show various Mylenes, Crassuses, Jasons, and, yes, Ioles, walking along the street, eating, talking, whatever.  "A growing number of citizens have noticed an absurd amount of twins, triplets, and possibly more in recent months.  Is this something we should be worried about?  Is it some sort of new cult?  We go now to Calydos Decadontous for more."

Iole was sitting at home then.  She clutched her knees close to her chest and watched, horrified, as mankind awkwardly tried to figure her out.  Dissect her, her kin and her aims on the screens of every citizen. 

"We asked some of the residents what they thought about these people," the reporter said.

An older woman glanced over her shoulders as she spoke, "It is odd for so many people to have multiple identical children.  I don't understand it."

A younger man shrugged, "I didn't notice or think anything of it until you showed me the pictures."

Off camera, the reporter asked, "What do you think now?"

He shrugged again, "It is strange, certainly.  But I don't think it means anything."

"I think it must be some sort of medical experiment gone wrong," one pedestrian said.

"But the Lords have forbidden human cloning," Calydos said off camera.

"True, but," as he continued to speak, the pedestrian looked suddenly nervous, "who's to say the Lords didn't do this themselves?  I'm not blaspheming here," he held up his hands, "I'm just guessing because I don't know the whole story."

"No one knows the whole story, and that may be the point."  The reporter was walking in front of an open-air café in the market district.  "We asked Theonpolis' leaders for comment, including the Chief Quorum Archon herself, and we received only a written reply."  The text of the reply appeared on screen as she read it, "'We are unaware of any kind of new people, race or experiment from the gods.  We are not aware of any kind of subversive religious activity.  To speculate about this issue further would be pointless and may only serve to inflame the public.'  We tried talking to a few of these people, but they refused …"  Iole turned off the wall and tried to go to sleep, but it was not going to work.

In the weeks after the reports began airing, more people took notice of her and her siblings.  Rumors persisted: they were created by Zeus to fit into certain roles in society, that they were multiple-born children from a ridiculously fertile farm woman, that they were created in a laboratory.  None of Iole's people commented to anyone on any aspect of their history, thanks to Zeus' orders and advice from Aurora.

"Once you leave Olympus," Aurora said, holding Iole's shoulder, "you and your kind must keep quiet about your origins."

Iole was confused.  "That's what Lord Zeus said, but I don't understand.  Mother had said that we would be able to help mankind with the technology that created us."

"No doubt, but mankind is not ready yet for that responsibility, nor are they ready to deal with the manner in which you were created."  Aurora released Iole, "It would be best for all of you if none of you said anything."  And that's what she told her siblings when she returned from Olympus eighty years prior. 

Tonight, Iole sat in a nook of a small, upscale eatery in Theonpolis.  Three nights a week, she played piano here.  She enjoyed it for the music, of course, but because she was concealed from the public, she didn't get those looks or hear the comments she usually got when she walked to or from work. 

As the rumors continued, ulterior motives were ascribed to her people.  They were called, "Serpens," meaning "snakes."  Thus, the "watch out for snakes" comment that seemed to be a favorite of humans in the city.  "Snake in the grass" was another.  After a time, some had even begun to refer to them as the "Thirteenth Tribe," mostly as a derogatory term.  Iole didn't have a problem with that, so much.  They were different than any of the other tribes that made up mankind.  Why not have their own designation?

Iole finished up her shift at the piano as the dining room was closed.  She pulled the cover over the keys and left the nook.  Iole walked around to the small tip box located by a partition and found a few coins inside.  Pocketing those, she went to see the manager in his office.

"I'm leaving now, if that's alright with you."

He didn't look up, "Certainly.  You'll be back tomorrow night since Meras is sick, right?"

"Yes.  I'll see you then."  He grunted as Iole left.  The manager had been more talkative and friendly before the word got out about her people.  Now he was as confused and frightened as anyone.  He didn't speak to her very much as a result.

Decades ago, she spoke with Asclepius about what to do with her life.  She pursued careers in the arts and she had the restaurant gig, low paying as it was.  She also was occasionally contracted to do mural work for a private museum.  It paid well, but it was not a steady job.  She felt sated by these things but not truly fulfilled.  She couldn't put her finger on it. 

Iole was not ashamed to say she was disappointed in Lord Asclepius.  After she left Mount Olympus, she sent messages to him with updates on her life.  He responded twice over the years.  But once news about her people broke and societal pressures came to bear, he didn't respond at all.  Occasionally, she wrote to him, pleading for a Lord go on the record as supporting her people, but she heard nothing back.

Iole walked down the street, hearing a din around the corner.  She furrowed her brow as she got closer and she looked ahead.  Near the Temple of Dionysus, there was a great party.  "That time of year again," she said to herself as she began to recognize the songs being sung.  The Bacchanalia was essentially god-sanctioned drunkenness and debauchery on a massive scale.  Thousands packed into a few city blocks around the Temple, played and listened to music, drank wine and liquor, ate all they could and fornicated right there in the street.  Normally that much excess would be frowned upon by Theonpolis police, but this was a special occasion.

Iole stopped at the intersection, watching the fire-lit revelry for a moment and then turning to mentally map out a course home.  She would have to go a couple of blocks out of her way.  She crossed the street after a vehicle glided past and walked along a row of cafés, each one darkened given the late hour.  She thought she heard someone behind her, but when she turned, she saw nothing.

"Sssssssssss."

The snake imitation was another favorite.  Iole didn't stop walking, but she did turn.  She saw three men following.  They must have been hiding under the eave of a closed restaurant.  She quickened her pace, knowing that a well-lit cross street was a hundred meters or so away.  The three men broke out into a slight jog, with one asking, "What's the rush, Iole?"

She didn't stop, but she rolled her eyes.  She might have to stop using her version's catch-all name.  "I'm going home and you better leave me be."

They laughed and walked alongside of her.  "I see, I see.  Back to your inbred mother?"

"I thought they were from labs?"

"I don't know.  Maybe Zeus will think ill of us for taking his prize."  He's the one that touched her first.

As soon as Iole felt his hand on her hair, she turned, crouched and punched him in the groin as hard as she could.  He dropped to the sidewalk instantly, but the other two grabbed her.  "Frak, she's strong."  They each had an arm and Iole threw her head back, smashing another's nose.  He nearly lost his grip.

"Let go of me.  Now."

The one man who hadn't been injured punched her in the side.  She collapsed somewhat, and kicked at them.  When her foot connected with a shin, it cracked and the man fell into a heap.  Before she could dispatch the other, the third – who had been punched in the crotch – tackled Iole by leaping from the street.  Both she and the man toppled over a café's fence, landed on a dining table, broke it and crashed the lot of them to the ground.

"Damn, Kadon," one of the wounded men said.

Iole was dazed, bleeding and lying on the cobblestone walk.  Wounded though he was, the first man she injured was now ripping her clothes.  The man with the broken shin was passed out from his compound fracture.  She turned to look them in their faces so she could remember them as much as possible.  Given the Bacchanalia nearby, she found it odd that she couldn't smell alcohol on them.  She tried to scream, but she couldn't breathe.  Every bit of air she had was knocked out of her.  She could only whisper, "Why?"

"Shut up," was the reply as one of them brought a large table leg down on her head.

And so they raped her.  At some point, she regained consciousness.  She didn't want to open her eyes.  Instead, she was lying in the river on a beautiful summer day.  Adrift.  Her imagination was vivid; every detail present.  The way the warm water covered her ears but occasionally rose over her cheeks.  A stick brushing past her leg as she moved downstream.  The large, puffy clouds moved across the face of the sun, giving her squinting eyes a respite.  Her vision was so vivid, so immersing, she didn't hear the men finish and leave.
After a time, she forced the beautiful river projection away and found herself lying on the ground.  Right where she was before.  She was breathing a little easier now, though it still hurt.  She slowly sat up and rose to her feet.  She stood under the canvas of the café's patio for a few moments deciding what to do.  She couldn't afford a hand processor, so calling the police that way wasn't an option.  After some thought, Iole realized it may be best to walk back to the Bacchanalia and find an officer there.

Once she dealt with this nightmare, she would try to reach Lord Aurora.  At this particular moment, Aurora seemed like her best bet for answers.

Lastly, this excised chapter just shows Iole being there for the birth of the first organic Cylon child via normal procreation.  Again, nothing important that couldn't have been shuffled off to a later chapter.

XXXVIII
IOLE
2,366 Years Before the Final Exodus

A maternity ward.  Iole never thought she would see one of those in the Megara medical clinic.  Now, there were two pregnant Megarans in there and either one could give birth at any time.

"It's a wonderful day," said the doctor.  Iole smiled and peered through the observation window into the operating theater.  Doctors and nurses had prepared two beds in case the children came at the same time.

"Archon!" called a nurse, another Iole version.  "Murrine's child is crowning!"

Iole darted down the hall after the nurse.  Everyone's face was beaming.  She couldn't help but laugh.  For the first time in almost three centuries, there would be a new face for people to see.  She passed a Jason, a Crassus, a Mylene, two Cimons, and an Iris.  But a new face.  The scholars and doctors who worked on it called this "code diversity."  Expanding the genetic capabilities of the tribe.  True, though it may be, it was difficult to get excited about "code diversity."

Iole waited by the door as doctors and nurses flooded in and out of the room.  Murrine was in pain, obviously, but Iole was told that all was going well.  She was nervous, pacing in front of the windows that lined the hall outside of the room.  She seemed to be waiting forever, but Iole didn't care.  She had waited centuries so a few extra minutes would be fine.

With this child, the Thirteenth Tribe could blend into society.  They could resume their place side-by-side with the other humans.  There would be difficult years ahead as they tried to reintegrate themselves.  Zeus had ordered them to keep their secrets, but their seclusion had been self-imposed.  In talking with Aurora, she got the impression that the rest of Kobol had mostly forgotten about the Thirteenth.  Fuzzy memories could only help, though it seemed that the goddess was almost apprehensive about Megaran children.  She wouldn't explain, but she definitely appeared fearful.

Murrine screamed again and applause erupted from the room.  Iole jumped to the doorway, waiting for anyone to come out and tell her what had happened.  A few doctors ran from the room laughing down the hallway.  Iole stepped inside, hesitantly.

The doctors and nurses were all gathered around a small diagnostic table.  There, in the center, a naked baby lay squealing.  Wires led from its head and chest to a machine that seemed to be registering normal signs.  The child was still covered in various bodily goos and a nurse was slowly wiping it off.  Iole walked over to the mother who was reclined in bed, her eyes closed.

"Congratulations," Iole whispered.

Murrine stirred and smiled, "Thank you."  She looked across the room as the doctors continued to study the child.  "It's a boy."

"Fantastic!"

"My husband and I are naming him Proteus." 

Iole felt tears in her eyes and she bent over to hug the woman.  "That's beautiful."  Iole pulled away a little and held one hand against the woman's cheek.  "I believe you and Proteus may just save us all."

Writing, Again: Part II

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I'm continuing my trek through the trilogy and I whipped through Book Two with a quickness.  Man, what an action-packed read.  (Yes, I know I wrote it.  I'm almost surprised that I wrote it, in some places.)



I did some minor rewriting.  Mostly word choices; a couple of instances of "telling, not showing." There was only one chapter I removed but I immediately replaced it with something new.  Something that actually previews Book Five.  More on that in a second.

The revisions and additions, comparatively minor as they are, have been published at Smashwords.  The new version will filter out to other retailers (iTunes, B&N, etc.) in the coming weeks.  Click the banner to get it:



The chapter I removed and the chapter I added?  Both are after the JUMP.

Here's the chapter I removed.  At this point in the story, the war against the Draco is winding down and the gods are getting back to the business of helping the people.  I wanted to show some of the strife between those who supported the war and those who didn't; those who support Zeus' experiment and those who don't ...  The problem is, I followed this chapter up with two or three others that did the same thing (one that focuses on Apollo & Artemis, one on Athena and one on Zeus).  This one with Demeter and Poseidon just wasn't needed.

LXXIII
DEMETER
5,395 Years Before the Final Exodus

"The goddess seems about to reap a harvest of her own!" a citizen said.

Demeter laughed and continued to pass bowls of grain out to the people who gathered.  Poseidon chuckled and stepped beside her.  "See?  Everyone knows now."

She shook her head and continued to dip bowls into a bin.  "I still don't want the world to know about us."

"I see," Poseidon said.  He filled two bowls at a time and handed them over the table.  "Do you expect them to think you became pregnant on your own?"

"Why not?" she smiled.  "We're gods, right?"

He nodded.  "Indeed."  Poseidon handed the bowl of grain to an old woman who seemed about to fall apart before his eyes.  She clumsily took it and spilled some as she juggled it and her cane.  Poseidon stepped away from the table and took the woman's bowl and guided her toward a bench.  Her face beamed as the Lord set her down at a nearby table and the crowd took notice of the god's kindness.

"You're a softie," Demeter said.

"You expected me to let her tip over?"

"No."  She was quiet as she doled out more food for the people for a few minutes.  "How many other places are we supposed to go?"

Poseidon inhaled as he thought.   "One more today; three tomorrow."  Demeter sighed and Poseidon quickly interjected, "Their farmers, sons and husbands are off at war.  They need our help."

"I know," she said.  "I just wish it were over, you know?"

Poseidon said nothing.  He didn't move, except to hand over bowls.

"It's been fifteen years.  Can't it just stop?"

Poseidon's lip quivered and said in a deep rumble.  "No."

"What?"

He turned toward her and started to speak.  He guarded his expression and his volume, so as to not alarm the citizens.  Demeter, though, sensed his rage.  "Prometheus killed Hades and I want every last piece of him torn from this world."

Demeter stopped breathing and she instinctively took a step back.  She was quiet and scooped some more grain.  Finally, she said in a hushed tone, "Prometheus has been dead for five years.  Most of Scythia has been destroyed.  What will you gain?"

Poseidon breathed deeply for several moments.  It seemed like an eternity to Demeter, but she sensed that he was regulating his emotions; preparing his words carefully.  Finally, he spoke, "He killed Leto.  He killed Hades.  He rallied millions of people against us.  They are zealots and they will not stop until we are destroyed."


Demeter was quiet.  She knew she could turn the "zealot" label back around and use it on the Olympians just as well, but she chose not to.  


And here's what I added in its place.  Like I said earlier, it's a preview, of sorts, for Book Five.  How?  Well, part of Book Five focuses on how the Messengers guide humanity and why they don't just force us to make the choices that ensure our survival.

LXXIII
THE MESSENGERS
5,398 Years Before the Final Exodus

The beings lit upon the crest of a hill overlooking the village of Gortyn.  One of the tenders took no guise and simply observed the forces of Olympus overwhelm the population.

"Failure," it said.  "Again, we seemed doomed to failure."

The other messenger imbued itself with the memories and spirit of Gortyn's elder, Aegle.  When she took form, she collapsed to her knees and wailed.

"So senseless!"  Her arms flopped into the grass and she crushed her eyes together.  "So much pain and death!"

The other being moved to be by her side.  "Why do you do this?  Why must you … become them when it is not required?"  It looked to the village and saw many branches of the tree come to their ends.  Parts of their responsibility, the growth of the tree, were blinking from existence.

Aegle stopped her sobbing and looked into the misty light of her partner.  Her face appeared wet with tears, but she spoke with even tones, "I want to feel.  It aids us in our work."

"It can."  The other messenger took form, as well.  He appeared as Lord General Ares and laid his hand on her shoulder.  "But you seem to wallow in it."

She looked to village again and felt a spear pierce a man's torso as clearly as if it were her own.  She lurched forward and grunted.  "These are our brothers and sisters in the service of God.  These are God's children …"  She cried out again.  "They're being killed by God's children, too."

Ares looked away and muttered, "I do not understand why you persist in couching our work in such a way."


Aegle inhaled deeply and grinned somewhat.  "It's worked before."

Working on Book Three now ...

Writing, Again: Part III

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My re-reading and editing of the trilogy has come to a close.  I've finished my work on Lords of Kobol - Book Three: The Final Exodus and I've uploaded it to Smashwords.  (It will reach other ebook retailers in the next few days/weeks.)


In Book One, I removed a few chapters to make it flow better.  In Book Two, I removed a superfluous chapter and added a new one.  In Book Three ... I didn't do that much.  Honestly, I found the threads to be taut and there weren't any real distractions from the main stories.  It's a huge book, of course, but it's the culmination of the two previous books so the puzzle had to get assembled and the way had to be pointed toward the TV series.  (Battlestar Galactica, in case you forgot.)

So, I removed portions where I "told" instead of "showed." Cleared up a few confusing bits.  Made some different word choices.  That kind of thing.

To get current, download and read the conclusion to this epic trilogy by clicking the banner:


Up next ... well, I guess I have to get started again on Book Five, huh?  Blog-wise, I'll have some posts in the near future about that.

Thanks, as always, for reading.

Reader, reader. Gimme reviews.

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If you've already bought, downloaded and read one or more of my books, I offer my profound thanks.

If you liked what you read, I thank you even more and ask that you keep reading.

One of the greatest favors you can do for me would be to go to the place from which you got my book -- you know, the one you liked -- and to provide a rating and review.

If you're feeling especially generous with your time, you can also go to Goodreads.com and do the same for me there.

Again, I thank you.

Writing, Again: Part IV: Visual Inspiration

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A few years back, I utilized my meager artistic skills to kickstart my imagination.  Like the Kobollian Cylon or Zeus' propaganda.

This time is no different and I found some inspiration in a strange place.

My son's Beyblades.

You may not know what they are.  They're metal and plastic tops that spin and clink into each other in arenas.  Pretty neat.  But even more neat was this odd pattern I discovered in the bottom of one of these pieces of imported Japanese pop culture:


See that?  (It was a pain to photograph.)  It's like a giant bird with outstretched wings and feathers that encircle the whole thing.  It's so reminiscent of the Kobollian/Colonial eagle/phoenix that I knew I had to use this.

Unfortunately, I'm no artist.  I wasn't able to isolate the bird well enough to use.  (If anyone wants to give it a shot, please, go ahead.)  But I managed to create something similar.

Early in Book Five, I describe the flag of the emperor that appears on a television screen: "Your attention, please," an unseen announcer said over the image of the emperor's seal, a stylized metallic eagle whose wings encircled a mask painted blood red over a purple fluttering flag. "Lord Imperator, Princeps Senatus, Caesar Maxentius the Ninth."

And here it is:


The color is Tyrian purple.  The dye was so rare in ancient days only the emperors wore clothes using it.

The idea of the blood red face comes from the Roman triumphs.  When an emperor was feted in such a way, his face was painted red to evoke Jupiter.  (See this scene from the great HBO series Rome.)

The mask itself comes from a Roman ceremonial mask found at the site of the Battle of the Teutoburg Forest.  (Go here and scroll down a bit. You'll see it.)

Lastly, "CPQT." You probably remember seeing some show or movie about ancient Rome and seeing "SPQR" everywhere.  That means "Senatus Populusque Romanus" ... "the Senate and people of Rome." I wanted something similar but not quite a direct copy.  I originally went with "Imperator Populesque Tiberiis" but that abbreviated as "IPQT." ("Tiberiis," of course, because my Roman analogue is the Tiberian Empire, based in Tiber.  I suppose that means the river that runs through the city is the Rome.)  I chose "Caesar Populusque Tiberiis." Maybe I'll change my mind again and go with "Caesar Senatusque Tiberiis."

I'm actually writing now, but I'll post some more visual inspirating that I did in the coming days.

Writing, Again: Part V - Visual Inspiration 2

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Writing on Book Five is chugging along nicely ...

I'm beginning to worry about length a bit, though.  I can't decide if I want to press ahead and worry about it later or if I should just stop what I'm doing and rein it in.  Storywise, it's a trilogy's worth of stuff crammed into one book (origin stories, seeds of revolution, revolution & exodus).  I don't know.  I'm still thinking about it.

In the meantime, here's some more lame art.

Years ago, I Photoshopped an old Greek helmet and gave it a Cylon eye.  Thanks to the free app, Adobe Sketch, I took another go at it.  The figure on the left is pretty much what I see in my head when I read about Cylons in the Lords of Kobol trilogy:


Moving ahead to Book Five, the mechanical Cylons are called something else for a stretch and I wanted them to be very different than anything seen before.  (They were briefly glimpsed in an Ares' flashback in Book Three).  Here they are:


More to come next week.  (Book Five stuff; not crappy drawings.)

A Collection of Reviews - Updated

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4.5 out of 5 stars on iTunes
4 out of 5 stars on Goodreads
4 out of 5 stars on B&N
4 out of 5 stars on Kobo

"I could not love this book more! A definite must-read for any lover of BSG who might have wondered what the hell happened on Kobol before the humans left for the 12 worlds. I can't wait to read the next 2 books."
-- w!L G

"I've been a fan of Battlestar forever ... this is a great book and I'm neglecting everything till I get the next book read.  Thanks for some great entertainment.  I can't read fast enough!"
-- coffeeghosts

"Feeling the void of no Battlestar Galactica the lords of Kobol answered me with an awesome my love of BSG via twitter. Download this free e-book I've written says this random person. It's not endorsed by the creators but written for the fans. It delivered the back story to everything you need to know about BSG. I consider it to be canon. I couldn't put them down till I'd read every page."
-- Shane D

"LOVED Book 1!"
-- wilkidu

"I became aware of this author through his Twitter feed when he requested to follow me to promote his books. He had me hooked right away with the Battlestar Galactica connection, but I was a little bit unsure about what to think of some free books from a guy on the internet. Since the books were free, I went ahead and downloaded copies for my Nook, and I just finished the first book in the series. Whatever expectations I had were met and exceeded as I read this novel. Yeatts shows incredible familiarity with the BSG universe as well as Greek mythology, and his storyline adds many levels of depth to some of the mysteries of the TV show.

I went back and forth as I read this book about whether I really wanted depth added to the mysteries of the show, because one of the things I enjoyed about BSG was its mysterious spirituality and unanswered questions. Early on in my reading I swung to the side of feeling beat over the head with explanations for some of the shows mysteries, but about halfway through the book, the plot took a nice plot twist that fits perfectly into the BSG universe and maintains, and I might add even deepens, the level of spirituality present in the TV show.

I am anxious to continue the series and see how the BSG universe shapes up over the course of the three books. If you are at all a fan of Battlestar Galactica, you should check out this books series. So say we all (and it's free!)."
-- Jason T

"Cool seeing the gods and learning about Kobol. Seems to star a little slow, but picks up quickly with a big reveal."
-- Anonymous

"This book was d-bomb"
-- Dalton

"I am fan of BSG so I enjoyed reading of this book. It seems that author took his time and studied BSG universe and created very nice plot. Connection made to BSG and Caprica is well done."
-- conta

"Wow.  Started off slow but became more and more intriguing"
-- Anonymous

"A very impressive book. Thoughtful, intriguing, meaningful, and intelligent, all without sacrificing readability. The fact that it's based in the Battlestar Galactica universe is almost secondary, but that it is adds a new level of wonder to it. Looking forward to continuing the series. Hats off to the author!"
-- John B

"I loved it!"
-- AriaAyarulo

"Thoroughly enjoyed it.  Meshes into BSG universe quite nicely."
-- wombatjedi

"This was an unusual book, with the main characters being the Lords of Kobol ... the plot unravels over centuries. And there is plenty of pre-history to go. I had a great time being back in the Battlestar Galatica universe and will be continuing this series soon."
-- Keith Hughes

"Why am I trying to keep my eyes open? Because i'm reading @LordsOKobolbook 's first book. It's #fraking good. Go get it!"
-- markchapamusic

"It's fantastic"
-- GeneralEcks

"Just downloaded the books and finished the first one....excellent read and great backstory on BSG....when I'm done with these I'm going to rewatch the series"
-- Arcadio T

"Finished Book One. Now on to the second. It's hard to believe a book so good was FREE!"
-- TheAtomicHouse

"Excellent book"
-- NightwolfRD

"Great fan fiction providing a plausible back story to the BSG Kobolian gods, and the legendary Thirteenth Tribe. It meshes well with the established story, though some parts were spotty, such as the origin of the gods, and who the humans were on Kobol before the gods came on scene. Perhaps that will be covered later? (Ed.: yes.) Looking forward to the next in the series."
-- Anonymous

"I have to say, I didn't expect much from a free book from B&N, but this is definitely a fun, well-written piece of fan fiction that any BSG fan should enjoy."
-- Richard L

"Excellent read for Battlestar Galactica fans. The author has put much thought and has effectively tied Roman/Greek mythology to create an interesting tale that is an easy read."
-- Eric

"Surprisingly a really great book. Does a great job of expanding on the mythology of BSG while maintaining the same tone and themes."
-- Michael

"A must for Battlestar Galactica fans."
-- Rochelle

"Can't beat it for free, good story a little long but I will read the other books in the series, it kept me wanting to read more."
-- Emc2384

"Wow this is a labor of love..... i just read the first book, and cannot believe it was offered as a freebie. This, to me, was worthy of major publisher attention and release. I found the series by accident while foolimg with a Nook app that listed free (and not so free) Nook books. I'm glad i did. The maps look great.

I'm done typing i have book 2 to begin."
-- Mike F

"This is possibly one of the best pieces of fan fiction I've ever read -- but then again, I'm a devout fan of Ronald D. Moore's Battlestar Galactica TV series, so take that for what it's worth. If, like me, you were disappointed with the unanswered questions and stunted plot lines at the end of the award-winning BSG series, you'll enjoy this story of the "gods" of Olympus on ancient Kobol.

The Lords of Kobol draws heavily on the phrase, "All of this has happened beofore, and all of it will happen again," from BSG's book of Pythia. And it holds true to many of the themes that made BSG such a great series, including the nature of sentience (both biological / human and artificial / cylon) and how societies justify war and violence.

The book also does a great job tying in quite a bit of Greek mythology in a clever, but humorous way that makes you wonder about the humble origins of our own religions. Putting BSG aside, Edward T. Yeatts III deserves credit for exceptional storytelling and character development. The individual stories of the "Lords" begin with the familiar, distant personae of the Greek gods. But they evolve into all too human stories of sometimes reluctant gods who are surprised, or even disgusted, at their own worship.

You won't look at Greek mythology, or even Battlestar Galactica mythology, quite the same way after reading this book. And if you make it to the end, you'll likely do what I did: immediately download and read the sequels."
-- Dan P

Lords of Kobol - Book One: Apotheosis can be downloaded in just about every imaginable format for FREE at Smashwords here.  Also available at iTunes, Kobo, Versent BooksB&N and Sony.  All for free.


4.5 out of 5 stars on iTunes
4 out of 5 stars on Goodreads
4 out of 5 stars on B&N

5 out of 5 stars on Kobo

"The follow up to the first book kept up a cracking pace, very insightful and filled in so many gaps, I've recently Beemer re-watching BSG and a lot more makes sense now. I promised myself I would savour this one but I couldn't put it down until it was finished. Hopefully ( no pressure ) there will be more, I've really enjoyed reading both of them as there hasn't been much written novel wise in the BSG universe. I would be happy to see them published and pay for the pleasure of reading these. Thanks again"
-- wombatjedi

"It's fantastic! I can hardly put it down."
-- BlessedPsycho

"Easily the best of the trilogy."
-- John B

"Absolutely amazing gives a great insight into the "bigger" bsg story. Well worth reading."
-- Mossley

"Good author, your attention to detail is just phenomenal. Thanks for sharing such an awesome treasure trove of insight, and a cool online tool/resource while you're at it! You've really thought this out. I enjoy seeing how much work and time you've put into carefully drawing from Earth cultures to really get the same type of flavor as the 'original new BSG' did."
-- Joe K

"A great book for sap suckin tree huggin hippies. Theire is only one God you queer author. The auther is a fag who has never played a sport in his life. And for all you non believers go crap in your mouth fags. The book sucks major nuts. Dont get it. Overall rank is gay fagtorium."
-- Super Swag

"Best one"
-- Anonymous

"I'd give it six stars if I could, but I already gave Book 1 five stars.

Big flashback to the begining of the gods reign over Kobol and it's filled with scheming by Prometheus against Zeus, a gut-wrenching scene and a tremendous battle scene. I will say I was glad the author included the map."
-- MarcusMaximus

"Each book gets better and better. Looking forward to starting the 3rd book!"
-- w!L G

"I just finished book 2. Another great work!"
-- JForrestp

"Wow, and ok I'm ready for three. Seeing how this has happened before and will happen again why do I have to wait?"
-- oilfielddoc

Lords of Kobol - Book Two: Descent can be downloaded in just about every imaginable format for FREE at Smashwords here.  Also available at iTunes, Kobo, Versent BooksB&N and Sony.  All for free.


4.5 out of 5 stars on iTunes
4 out of 5 stars on Goodreads
4 out of 5 stars on B&N

5 out of 5 stars on Kobo

"Couldn't put it down!  I need more!"
-- oilfielddoc

"I LOVE the Trilogy and the many twists & turns it takes us."
-- CylonModel7

"I am a huge fan of Battlestar Galactia and the short-lived Battlestar prequel show, Caprica. These three books really satisfied me as a fan. I always wanted to know the back story Kobol and the people who lived there. The basic story is about a civilization in decline and the Lords who try to maintain it. Many parts of the BSG series are explained throughout the trilogy. I highly recommend these books to any fan of the series."
-- Forrest

"Interesting ending to the pre-Battlestar Galatica tale.

Now I want to watch all the Galatica and Caprica series with this new background."
-- Anonymous

"Having read these books, I now feel I know those people much better. This has been a delightful bit of fan fiction, while not canon, would still fill out the BSG back story in an immense way."
-- Anonymous

"A satisfying end to the series. Lots of tie-in with the television show came to fruition, and the story had more of a feel of urgency than the previous two. Great read!"
-- ShaunC

"It's a wonderful story that "feels" like canon even though it isn't."
-- David B

"I have just finished reading Lords of Kobol, book 3. Coming to the end of a 'pleasant journey' brings a form of sadness. You spin a good tale. I shall remember your name."
-- Marshall

"The way you've organized the timeframe w naturally occurring, fluidly organic events is great."
-- 13thLFoN

"Awesome, awesome series. So sad this is the last book. Looking forward to reading the others if they ever get written."
-- w!L G

"This was such a great series.  I thoroughly enjoyed the pre-history of Kobol and it has me jonesin' to watch BSG again."
-- Keith H

"I just finished book 3. This is Amazing work!"
-- JForrestp

"There were so many things going on at once that I was afraid I'd get lost or the story would get too convoluded. That didn't happen. It's well structured and the story unfolds very nicely. More great action, more drama with the gods and humans, too. I'm going to rewatch the show now to see how everything connects.

A great series for BSG fans."
-- MarcusMaximus

"I have enjoyed books 1,2 & 3. I wish these had been made into a television series before the Galactica series."
-- donslar

"I have made it through book three, and am getting ready to read book 4 tonight, I must say.. Excellent :) Very well written.."
-- Joe T

Lords of Kobol - Book Three: The Final Exodus can be downloaded in just about every imaginable format for FREE at Smashwords here.  Also available at iTunes, Kobo, Versent BooksB&N and Sony.  All for free.


4 stars out of 5 on iTunes
4 stars out of 5 on Goodreads
4 stars out of 5 on B&N

4 stars out of 5 on Kobo

"I'm a fan of the first three books and this is a very different take. The author said in the forward that he wanted to try different plot turns and use a different narrative tone and he certainly did. Reads very much like Tolkien and has a different story than Books 1-3."
-- Anonymous

"I liked Books 1-3 very much and I know that this one is an "alternative universe" version of what the author did in the trilogy.

I enjoyed it. The writing style sounds almost biblical with the grammar and word choice, but I picked up on it pretty quickly. While many of the characters are the same (the gods), the story is very different and even the end of the world plays ouot differently than it did in the trilogy.

Worth reading if you want more BSG in your life."
-- MarcusMaximus

"Enjoyable. Very good."
-- Anonymous

Lords of Kobol - Book Four: Tales From Ancient Days can be downloaded in just about every imaginable format for FREE at Smashwords here.  Also available at iTunes, Kobo, Versent BooksB&N and Sony.  All for free.




"For any fan of BSG (Battlestar Galatica) this is a must read. It taps into the BSG mythos and expands the back story of the 12 colonies and their life on Kobol in particular the Gods. I don't want to give any of the story away but I urge all fans and even those with only a passing knowledge of the TV series to read this and the other 3 books.

Well written, a proper page turner and at an unbelievable price. Rather then a free lunch it is more like a free banquet."
-- Mark Simmons

"Your 4 books are a joy to read."
-- CYLONmatrix

"A must for any fan of Battlestar lore."
-- Patrick

"I have read all the books in this series and it put to paper thoughts I already had in my mind. If you liked Battlestar Galactic you will love these books. ... Kudo's to the author and think they should make this a movie or a series. it is a must read."
-- Penny

"If you dig #Caprica & #BSG, his exploration of the mythos will blow your mind. Read his books and enjoy"
-- WeirdArchives

"I´ve just finished reading your first trilogy (I´m gonna start the 4th book today) and I´m writing to you in order thank you for these outstanding novel.

It was really brilliant!"
-- Rubens

"If you are a fan of the BSG franchise, then the whole trilogy will appeal to you! I had a quiet winter break and delved into all 4 over break form college and finished them all. Even without a background of BSG knowledge, if you have a knowledge of Greek and Roman political and religious structure, you should also find these books very entertaining!"
-- Anonymous

"They're great!"
-- shortstack81

"First: I am a fan of the BSG series (though, I didn't see much of Caprica). The Lords of Kobol books were quite fun reading -- the tie-ins with Greek mythology were very clever and well-done. The story itself provided a very readable back-story to the BSG (and Caprica) television series. Highly recommended for BSG fans -- those not familiar with BSG may find themselves scratching their heads in bewilderment at times, as well as miss some fantastic tie-ins with the show."
--ShaunC

"it is clear the amount of work you put into them and that shines through"
-- yuecake


"We did like them, actually a lot! good times :-) (+ we like uniquely bound LOK copies LOL)"
-- @twinsthings

"Loved it!! Answered lots of questions from the Battlestar Galactica series now I'm watching them again."
-- Artbeat

"I loved the Battlestar Galactica series and felt a bit lost when it was finished, so the books are a welcome return without being a rehash. I enjoyed how the author, as well as the writers of the TV series, played with the legends of Greek mythology. I never got into Caprica but might take a second look after finishing this series."
-- Anonymous

"I find them thorough, insightful, and informative"
-- MzSnowleopard

"This is a fantastic series of books. They capture the philosophical and religious tone of the TV show perfectly, while enhancing it with complex characters and histories. Highly recommend!"
-- Jason Tiearney

"So this book series isn't a book series that i would typically read, but this series turned out to be really good. I would recommend this series."
-- Anonymous

"I enjoyed Battlestar and I looked with anticipation at your ebooks.  I enjoy your writing style. It reminds me of the Herbert's style in the Dune series. The short and precise chapters help the story flow quickly. Anyway, just a note of thanks for writing such an excellent series of prequals to Battlestar G."
-- Ron P

"Your books are amazing. It was a great read. I could hardly put them down!"
-- Auston

"As always, you are very cool."
-- Anonymous

"As a fan of the reinvisioned Battlestar Galactica TV series, I was pleased when I discovered that this and it's companion books had been written, delving into the vaguely described story about Kobol and the Thirteenth Tribe. The story was as entertaining to me as the TV series was, and remained true to its spirit. With vivid characters and an engaging story interwoven with elements seen in the TV series, this novel draws you easily back into the BSG universe and fills the gap left over from the series conclusion. I highly recommend this set of novels to anyone that loved the reinvisioned Battlestar Galactica series; you will not be disappointed."
-- Twan Fox

"Fan-frakkin'-tastic!!!"
-- Josh S

"Wow! Why aren't you selling them? These are good!"
-- JForrestp

"Best fan fiction I've ever read."
-- Jason Levi

"Loved the trilogy. Didn't know I was reading Scrolls until third one. All 3 read in 2 days. Thanks again."
-- Anonomouse

"These have all been read before, these will all be read again ..."
-- J Stiffler

"This series is going down as one of my favorites. This was a very interesting and enjoyable read. I didnt think i would like it at first, but by the end i really liked the series. This is a keeper."
-- Anonymous

"Excellent job, great writing style. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading all of the books!"
--Geistjaeger


4.5 stars out of 5 on B&N
4.5 stars out of 5 on Goodreads

5 stars out of 5 on Kobo

"I bought this because I enjoyed the author's Lords of Kobol Battlestar Galactica books and I was surprised at how much I liked this one, too. Sometimes the action gets murky when you're keeping track of the cavemen and dinosaurs, but he makes it work out. And being from Balitmore, it was fun seeing the flashbacks with the main character."
-- MarcusMaximus

"Loved it! Well written and held my interest throughout the book. One of those hard to put down books that you wish would never end!"
-- Bernie

"I really enjoyed this book.  People and strange creatures displaced in time."
-- Doc

"A very quick read. Lots of action with dinosaurs, a robot and other crazy things. I was surprised at how invested I became in the cavemen who have their own language. The ending isn't really a surprise but it was fun to get there anyways."
-- Anonymous

Displaced can be downloaded in just about every imaginable format for 99¢ at Smashwords here.  Also available at B&N, Kobo, Versent BooksiTunesSony and Amazon.



4 stars out of 5 on Amazon
5 stars out of 5 on Goodreads

5 stars out of 5 on Kobo

"If you are looking for a fast paced, horror filled zombie book, then this is not the book for you. If, on the other hand, you are looking for a well thought out story of self growth of a boy becoming a man, then be sure to check out Diary of a Second Life.

The story is set far in the future - around 300 years after the end of the world and life as we know it. Wess Marin is a boy about to turn sixteen who lives in a small village of approximately 100 people or so. The people live a simple life down in tunnels for the most part - sheltered from the sun. No, they aren't vampires, but being in the sun increases their hunger levels for food to such extremes that they will starve if they stay out for too long.

Wess has never been outside the walls of his keep and doesn't know what exists except for what he sees each day. He is just finishing school and is now expected to "bond" with Remi, his second cousin, to perpetuate society through having children and becoming a watcher - a person who walks the walls to protect the community from the "terminals" which are basically zombies. Terminals can be people or animals or even insects - ick!
...
Wess has decided that he is going to go in search of others who may be working on a cure for the sickness and find what he is searching for as a person.

The story covers his journey - what he finds outside the walls, who he encounters, and what he learns about himself as a person.
...
Wess is the only character that is truly developed but that works out fine for the book as it is his path to discover that the story is about. The rest of the characters are truly supporting ones that interact at the level necessary to help Wess on his journey.
...
A thoughtful read and different take on what happens when the world ends. I would recommend this for a change in pace from the "normal" zombie books."
-- RandiTS (spoilers redacted)

"The book was interesting and kept me reading to the end ... I always wish for more exploration of the "old" world in these kind of book, for the most part they get from A to B without any. Different communities of people, living different kinds of lives in 300 years.
A good bargain for a good story."
-- Dennis

"At first I had some doubts about this novel but they were truly unfounded. I started reading a little of the story, then a bit more only to find that I'd finished the thing in very short order. The story kept me stuck to each word and was incredibly easy to finish. I finished it a little too fast because this story is worth savoring every paragraph. The journal format of the novel gave the story a feel similar to that of "Dracula." The diary also gave the reader a more personal connection to the narrator.
...
The characters were fascinating too. It starts off with the voice of a fifteen year old boy and then adds more people along the way.  ...  I found the characters realistic and genuine. There isn't anything cookie cutter or contrived about them. Excellent character crafting!

"Diary of a Second Life" was a great read and one of most creative stories of the post-apocalyptic genre."
-- Lori Bowland, Living Dead Media (spoilers redacted)

Diary of a Second Life can be downloaded in just about every imaginable format for 99¢ at Smashwords here.  Also available at B&N, iTunes, Versent BooksSony, Kobo and Amazon.


5 out of 5 stars on Goodreads
5 out of 5 stars on Kobo

"Thank you for writing that story! It's not often adult fiction has a plot or is written intelligently, with humor. I stumbled upon it on probably the first day it was released on SmashWords and it was a pleasure to read.
...
While I see you plan to work on similar tales, I'm concerned that as short stories they won't allow for decent character development. I also feel short stories just don't build properly, which Sexcalation happily did.

Finally, I applaud your choice of pricing the book reasonably. Too many extremely short works are priced foolishly high. I've got to give you credit where credit is due.

Good luck with your upcoming projects. If they are in a similar vein, I definitely plan on reading them."
-- RichSz

Sexcalation can be downloaded in just about every imaginable format for $2.99 at Smashwords here.  Also available at B&N, iTunes, Versent BooksKobo and Amazon.


5 out of 5 stars on Smashwords

"Thought this was a great little story, the cover art is awesome and reminiscent of Sin City and various other film noir classics. The writing style is original and evocative, the imagery great. The story itself reads like a cross between Dick Tracy and Kick Ass with plenty of action, intrigue and some hot sex. Everything a discerning guy could want in short. Oh and hot women."
-- Mikey Lee Ray

"Enjoyed this and will definitely recommend it. Great action and liked the way the steamy parts were written, hot."
-- James Riddel

The Red Kick can be downloaded in its entirety for just $2.99 from Amazon here.




Thanks for indulging me.  I hope you all stick around because there's more to come.  Lots more.

MST3K - "Mitchell - Annotated"

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You probably know that I help write riff annotations for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan site, AnnotatedMST.com.  Basically, I watch the episode, transcribe everything said in the theater by Joel/Mike & the 'bots and then write up a definition or explanation for their various references.

Well ... BIG NEWS today.  The site has teamed up with SHOUT! Factory to present full episodes of MST3K available online, for free, complete with riffs annotated.

The first episode is Joel's last, 512-Mitchell:

Et tu, Adama?

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Anyone parlez vous Latin?

There are a couple of scenes in Book Five wherein Tiberian soldiers are speaking and I don't want the other characters to know exactly what they're saying.

Here, without context or the intended English*, is that dialogue in Latin as best as I could make it thanks to a secondhand Latin textbook I bought and Google Translate:

Et succidat me!

Liberos non video.

Nec filios occidere.

Iis imperata essent.

Quid?

Nulla.

Vos?

Deinde scopum eamus.

Audistin quid?

Cur?

Ego feci.

Please, let me know how I did.

* - I didn't include the English because I want you to be able to figure it out.

Writing, Again: Part VI - Mapping

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You know me, I love to make maps.

If I have a world-spanning story, it helps.  Because of the politics and cultures involved, Book Five spans the world moreso than any other LoK book I've written.

If you have not yet read the Lords of Kobol trilogy, go do so now.  I cannot further discuss anything without spoiling everything.

Click here for the trilogy.

Readers of the trilogy, click on the JUMP for some details of the newest map.




Let's take a look at the map for Kobol (from Book Three):


Three continents, some islands, some geographical features ...  It's safe to say that not much changed over the course of a few thousand years.

Now, here's a map of our world:


As you can see, it's centered on the Americas because that's where all the important stuff is, obviously.  Seriously, though, there are many maps like this.  They chop Asia in half to focus on the Americas.  Presumably, the map producers are North American and want that to be the focus.  (American producers aren't alone in this.  I found pictures online that center the map on Europe and Asia, too.)

In my Kobol map, the center is focused (somewhat) on the City of the Gods.  The home of the Olympians.  Since the book is about them and because and cartographer of Kobol would certainly want to honor the gods, well, of course their home would be the center.  I kept that in mind when I made the map of Larsa:

(Click to embiggen)

Because the focus of much of the story is Tiberia, the map is centered on it.  Likewise, because Tiberian influence has so permeated the world, they're the ones who named most features.  (The features on Larsa are named from Latin sources; the features on Kobol are named from Greek sources.)

Not every nation is named just yet.  I drew the lines many months ago with only Tiberia and Attica marked.  As I've written, I've named different countries from a list I collected of ancient city-states, cities and more from around the world.  If you Google some of them, you'll find that I added or removed a letter or two to make them "alien."

"3150 AI"?  It's the three thousand one hundred fiftieth year since the founding of the Tiberian Republic.  3150 Anno Imperii (year of the Empire).  Dates before are noted with "AR,"Antequam Rempublicam.  (Latin teacher, feel free to correct me.)

I'll do a post later on the different nations and cultures ... it's a handful to keep things straight.  (It's important to remember: on Kobol, the gods influenced every nation and culture, keeping things very homogenized.  On Larsa, there is nothing like that.  Larsa is much more like our world today with dozens of natures, cultures, languages, etc.)

"Lords of Kobol - Book Five" ... the First Five Chapters

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I've reached the (planned) halfway point in writing and I decided to celebrate by posting the first five chapters of Book Five: Of Gods and Titans.  Click the JUMP to read on.




Of course, if you haven't yet read the Lords of Kobol trilogy, stop reading this and download it now!

I
CAESAR
162 Years Before the Fall

The noise was deafening.

He had only been awake for a few hours, yet he still couldn't shut out the noise.  He finally regained his vision but the sounds were painful and distracting.

"Claude?" he said.  He wasn't sure if he actually spoke, so he said it again, louder, "Claude?!"

He heard footsteps.  Over the din in his mind, he heard the man running.  The door opened.  Like with each sound that was made, now that Caesar looked, he saw every detail of every move Claude made.

"Yes, my lord?"  He started to speak before the door was even open fully.  He stepped two paces into the room.  His hands were clasped above his belt.  The finely attired young man's fingers were twitching.  Rubbing over each other.  Caesar heard his skin scrape.  A raw, rough noise that echoed in the room and shook the static that racked his ears. 

"Must you do that?" Caesar asked.

"I'm sorry, lord."  Claude's eyes darted around.  He didn't seem to know where to look.

Damn it, Caesar thought.  He could hear the wet click of the boy's eyeballs as they moved in their sockets.

"Never mind," Caesar said.  He tried again to close his ears.  The sound lessened a bit.  "When will the doctor return?"

The attendant lowered his head.  "Another hour or so, lord.  He said he would at dawn."

Caesar believed he sighed first and then said, "Bring him now."

"Of course, my lord."  Claude bowed and began to back through the door.  He closed it slowly and carefully, but the snapping of the mechanism and the slamming of wood upon wood reverberated in his leader's mind.

Caesar tried again to shut his senses.  The noise dwindled.  The sights slowed.  Finally, after hours of pain, he had achieved some measure of peace.  He didn't want to think about anything.  He simply wanted to enjoy the moment.

Step, step, step …

His senses returned and a cacophony of chatter, clanking and footfalls broke through his concentration.  He looked and saw natural light had returned.  It was almost dawn.  He had rested for more than an hour.

"My lord," Claude said as he entered the room, "Doctors Aelianus and Donovan."

A man and woman, dressed in their typical neck-to-toe blue smocks, walked into the room gingerly.  Two guards entered as well.  They swept to either side of the door and their rifles thunked against the plastic armor by their shoulder when they saluted.

The doctors circled Caesar and looked at him slowly.  The guards stood at attention … but they were distracted.  Like Claude earlier, they didn't seem to be able to concentrate.  Their eyes noisily moved around the room.  They couldn't focus on any one thing for longer than a few moments.

Caesar tired of their shifting and he ordered, "Leave us."

One guard looked to the other and spoke, "Lord, are you certain?"

"Go."

They snapped to attention, their armor clinking again, and saluted with their fists above their hearts.  They turned, opened the door and left.  Caesar heard them stop just outside.

"Imperator," Donovan began, quietly, "how are you feeling?"

"The noise is unbearable.  I hear everything.  Footsteps floors away, a guard cracking his knuckles in another room, your quickened heartbeat, Doctor Aelianus."

"I am sorry," she whispered.

"Don't apologize," Caesar said.  "Fix it."

Donovan spoke, "We will do all we can."  He pulled a small device from his smock and held it against the leader's side.  "Your sight?"

"It is equally sensitive yet I am able to control it more easily."

"Good."  Donovan walked a bit more.  "Your sense of smell?"

Caesar had to think.  What was the last thing he smelled?  The incense being burned in his room … but that was days ago.  "I don't believe it's working."

"We'll look at it."

Aelianus held her hands behind her back, "How are you feeling?"

The leader felt a rush of anger.  "Have I not been speaking to that?"

She got nervous and nearly took a step back.  "Yes, but, I mean, how do you feel?  Your emotions, the ease of your thoughts …"

Caesar understood.  "Of course.  Apologies, doctor."  She nodded.  "The haze I felt for so long has been lifted.  There is no obstacle between the desire for a memory and its recall."

"Very good."

"Emotionally," he began, "I am, obviously, still sensitive.  I feel prone to anger.  That has not been my way."

"Of course not, lord," Donovan said.

Caesar's attention turned toward him.  Anger flashed again.  Sarcasm?  He told himself to relax.  "I do feel anxious, though."

"You feel energetic?"

"Yes," Caesar said.  "For the first time in years."

Aelianus said, "That is very good."

"Let us discuss my mobility."

Donovan glanced at his colleague and then he looked at his device again, "We have gone over that before, imperator.  It may be some time."

Caesar shut down his senses to contain his surging emotions.  "I cannot wait months and years for you to pray on bended knee for miracles that may never arrive."

"I understand …"

"I feel trapped in this room already," Caesar continued.  "I've only been conscious for six hours yet I feel caged."

"Understandable," Aelianus said.

"Then help me."

Donovan inhaled deeply and slowly.  "What you ask is possible, but difficult.  We don't have the means …"

"Find the means."

Donovan lowered his hands and stepped back.  "The finest minds in Tiberia are working on this, lord."

"Insufficient!"  The doctors cowered at the Caesar's volume.  "Narrow-minded fools such as you have failed me before.  Not now!"  They flinched and winced at the sharp sound.  "I will scour Larsa for the solution, if I must."

The doctors bowed before the large, gray and black box.  Slowly, they approached again and took readings on the unit.  Lights flashed as Caesar thought.  Judging by their rapidity, he was thinking quite a bit.





II
BARAZ
162 Years Before the Fall

Karin Baraz sat in the lobby.  Her legs were crossed and her wrist dangled over the edge of her briefcase.  Her long finger flicked at the clasp every ten seconds.  She was precise about that.  She counted it in her head.

A man walked past and she watched him go.  She didn't recognize him.  She didn't lose count, though.  Baraz flicked the clasp again, right on time.

"Lunch is still on schedule, yes?" her assistant asked.  "Minister Osporion's secretary just messaged me."

Karin didn't lose count.  She nodded.

Mione kept speaking.  "I'll let him know."  She tapped on her wristband a few times and it beeped.  "There's a storm in Helicon so our flight has been pushed back by an hour."

"It's a private plane."

Mione tilted her head back and forth.  "Aeroport restrictions in effect."

A young man peered around a corner and said, "Karin Baraz?"  She stood quickly and he continued, "The prime minister will see you now."

"Thank you."  Baraz walked away from her seat and Mione hissed through her teeth.  When Karin looked back, the assistant was pointing to the briefcase.  She said, "Keep it."

The young man led her down a hallway.  Offices on either side bustled with beeps and discussion.  When they approached the large wooden door, Baraz pulled down on the front of her jacket to straighten it out and briefly patted the sides of her tightly bound black hair.

The assistant knocked twice, waited a moment and then opened the door.  He immediately stepped to the side and announced, "Minister.  Karin Baraz of BBM."

Behind the desk, a somewhat lanky man stood.  He was gray but his skin didn't seem to betray an age.  Karin knew from public records that Will Saeros was nearly sixty.

"My dear Miss Baraz.  A pleasure to meet you at last."  He shook her hand vigorously and nodded toward the door.  The younger man left and pulled it shut behind him.

"A pleasure to meet you as well, sir."  Karin smiled.  It was a smile she practiced.  Enough to seem genuinely pleased but not enough to appear overly eager.

"Please, sit."  Karin took a step back and sat in one of the two leather chairs before the large desk.  Saeros didn't return to his place behind the desk.  He sat in the other chair.  "I was sorry to hear about your father."

Baraz lowered her head for a moment and nodded slowly.  She lifted her right hand and cupped her left bicep for three seconds before returning it to her lap.  "He was a good man."

Saeros leaned over and said, "And you are a young woman."  Her eyebrow lifted and he continued.  "Thrust into a big chair so soon."

Responses pelted her mind.  Responses to those responses followed.  When she spoke, she had decided to go with a more amiable answer but not one without teeth.  "I fit the chair well."

The prime minister grinned and said, "Obviously your board agrees.  They like you."  She nodded.  "I have no reason to disagree."

One side of Karin's mouth turned upward.  "Good."

Saeros laughed and said.  "Well.  Tell me what brings you to Tritaea."

She knew that he knew.  It was part of the dance.  One that her father told her about many times.  "Matters of healthcare and well being."  He nodded and she continued.  "In recent years, we've noted that the Ministry of Health is taking far longer than usual to approve our requests for trial reviews.  We have made substantial investments in …"

"The delays are for safety reasons," Saeros interrupted.  "We have to insure that the proper trials were conducted and that the reviews are both unbiased and thorough."

"The procedures I'm speaking of are not ones of vanity.  These are medications and devices and techniques that can save many thousands of lives."

"At a great profit to Baraz Bio Medical."  Karin's eyes steadied on Saeros' face.  He no longer seemed genial.  "With each medication you release, your bottom lines increase …"

"And do you know when the last new medication by BBM was approved?"  The PM seemed surprised at having been interrupted.  "Two years ago.  It had been in development for eleven years and was cleared by reviews and trials three years before approval."

"And how much money has BBM reaped with it?"

Baraz tilted her head to one side and said, "I was not aware that corporations had been outlawed."  Saeros chuckled.  "Or that profits were made illegal."

"They are not, my dear."  He straightened his collar and said, "History is full of examples of companies that … take advantage.  Our job is to slow everything down.  We need to make sure what you're offering is safe and worthy of the marketplace."

"Regarding the latter," she began, "isn't that for the marketplace to decide?"

"You may know medicine," Saeros said, softly, "you may even know business, but you don't know government and you don't know history."

Baraz straightened her jacket again.  "I know enough."

"Really?"

"I know," Karin hesitated for the slightest moment, "that on the desk of the health minister, there lies the means for the rejuvenation of bone marrow."

Saeros blinked.

Baraz studied the man's face but he didn't reveal any emotion.  He took in a deep breath and looked toward the floor.  He breathed quietly and Karin replayed her words in her head.  She thought of other answers and other questions.  She decided on this one, however.  She had to play it out.

"How long has it been ready for use?"

"Two years."

The PM was still.  Then, he nodded slowly.  He cleared his throat and nodded again.  Saeros looked at Baraz but there was something new in his gaze.  Respect.

"Very shrewd," he said.

She didn't respond.

"I appreciate the effort but our procedures will remain in place."

"While Huban and Nandia surpass us on so many fronts?  Not just medicine, but astronomy and …"

"We are finished."  Saeros stood and returned to his desk.  Karin was slow to stand, but when she did, she looked up and saw his outstretched hand.  "I will be interested to see what you do in the future."

Baraz shook his hand and left.  The assistant from before guided her down the hallway and into the waiting area where Mione still sat.

Karin nodded toward the exit and the woman followed.  They rode in the lift silently and emerged in the lobby shortly thereafter.  Mione tapped on her wristband as they walked.  The pair dodged the crowds and emerged on the street moments later.

A long, luxury car pulled up by the sidewalk and Mione opened the door for her boss.  Baraz got in and then Mione sat on the long seat beside her.

"Still going to lunch?"

Karin was quiet.  She looked up and saw the assistant trying not to be nervous.  She saw the driver looking back at them.  "Yes.  Let's go."  The driver nodded and the car quietly moved into traffic.
Baraz turned to the right and watched the Forum recede.  She took in a deep breath and said, "My great-grandfather was a doctor in Ordoga."

Mione glanced up and then back at her wrist.  She had heard this before.

"He came to Attica for freedom and prosperity.  They didn't recognize his license to practice medicine so he started over again.  Then he started BBM.  My grandfather took over the business, and then my father …"

Mione interrupted, "Didn't go well?"

Karin's nostrils flared as she inhaled.  "I ended up … 'dancing dirty.'"

"Oh."  Mione stopped what she was doing.  She used to hear about "the dance" from Karin's father.  "You brought up his wife?"

"Indirectly."

"It didn't work?"

Baraz looked out the window as they passed a statue of Cronus, complete with sickle and lightning bolt, juxtaposed against the front of a Median church.  Once in the intersection, tall office buildings and monuments stretched toward the crest of a hill.

She decided not to answer.





III
AHLJAELA
162 Years Before the Fall

Mar Ahljaela stood in line behind dozens of others.  He wiped his nose and pretended to not be bothered by the smell.  It was sharp.  Almost metallic.  Once the initial blast of old perspiration subsided, the underlying filth odor crept in.  It may not have been as bad as an open sewer, but it was still bad.  Like a stagnant drainage pond that's home to migratory birds, Mar decided a few years back.  He passed one on his way home then and was immediately surprised by the similarity.  After a week of sleeping at the factory, everyone stunk.

It was the last day of his work cycle, though.  He had two days off now.  He would get paid and then walk the twenty kilometers out of Gargamus to his little village.  It would be late when he arrived.  His wife might be the only one awake then.  He smiled at the thought.  He wanted to spend time with her.

"Name?" the man behind the desk asked.

This man had seen him once a week for nearly ten years.  Still, he asked for his name.  "Ahljaela.  Mar Dohl Ahljaela."  The man scanned the paper, drew his finger under the name and then reached under the desk.  When he handed over the small bindle of money, Mar said, "Thank you."

He walked from the office and into the courtyard of Siler River Plastics where hundreds of other workers on Mar's cycle had gathered.  Some were smoking, others were talking.  Ahljaela walked past them all toward the street.  He stopped at a bush, though, and bent down.  He unfolded the currency and began to count it.  Twenty-two denars.  Five years ago, he had been promised a raise.  It never showed up, of course.  He separated the bills into three groups.  He stuffed one into his pocket and then stepped out of his worn shoes.  He pushed bills toward the toes in both, put his feet back in and started walking. 

As soon as his foot hit the sidewalk, he sighed and turned right.  It was a straight road, but it was long.  Barely a block away, he heard the engine of an old bus rumble to life and pull away from the factory's courtyard.  He watched it pass and waved to the people on board he knew.  He used to take the bus out of the city.  It saved him five hours of walking but it cost a whole denar for the trip.

"Mar."

His head whipped to the right and he saw his co-worker, Rand.  "Hello."

"Walking again, I see."

He only nodded.

"I'm going to stop for a lunch.  Did you want to join me?"

Ahljaela inhaled and shook his head.  "No, sorry."

"I understand."  Rand looked across the street to a restaurant.  "Oh, I almost forgot.  Did you hear about Thun?"

Mar stopped walking and squinted in the sunlight.  "I saw him today on the line.  He left yesterday, right?"

"He did," Rand stepped closer and continued, "but he got robbed on his way home.  Took everything he just got paid."

"Damn."  Mar knew what that was like.  "He didn't hide his money?"

Rand shrugged.  "I don't know.  He didn't talk too much about it."

"I'm sure."  He took another step and asked, "So he just went back to work?  Didn't go home?"

"Yes."

"They let him change cycles like that?"

Rand laughed.  "I guess so.  So many robberies lately … Bo said that it was the least the company could do since they wouldn't give him his pay again."

"Right."

Rand stepped onto the street and waved behind him, "See you."

"Bye."

Ahljaela walked.  He passed by restaurants and bars.  There were magistrate buildings, a police station, a recruitment center.  A fountain marked the edge of the city and he left the path for a moment to dowse his head in the spray.  The day was sunny with no breeze.  With more than seventeen kilometers to go, he needed the respite.  He dipped his old plastic bottle into the water, closed it and returned to the path.  If he lingered too long, the police might chase him away again.

The sidewalk turned to dirt and the asphalt of the highway lost its painted stripes.  Trucks veered from one side to another.  Cars whipped past him at more than one hundred kilometers an hour.  On the main straightaway, he left the path and waded through the tall grass.  For nearly an hour he walked like that, swatting away large flies and flicking beetles from his canvas trousers.  Better this than the alternative.

He saw it two years ago.  Crisus was his name.  He was half a kilometer ahead of Mar.  They didn't know each other that well so they didn't bother to walk together.  On this straightaway, a truck moved from its lane and drove into the dirt walking path right in front of Mar.  The truck never left the path until it hit Crisus.  He was far away but Ahljaela saw the man's body flung into the air.  The truck stopped for just a moment but then drove off.  Mar ran and ran but when he reached his co-worker, it was already too late.  He stood and walked into the road, waving and screaming for someone to stop.  Three trucks and five cars swerved and honked around him.  Finally, one man stopped and placed a call to the police on his wristband.  He drove away, leaving Mar to wait with the body for an hour before anyone arrived.

This was the spot.

He paused and looked into the grass.  Nothing remained, of course.  He could see the blood in his mind still.  The man's face was swollen and streams of it left both eyes, his ears, his mouth, his nose.  His clothes were torn.  One shoe was still on the walking path.  There was the smell of feces.

He swatted a large dragonfly and moved on.  The road began to crest and the curves returned.  He stepped back to the path and breathed a little easier as he walked.  He played his usual games.  Counting certain colored vehicles.  Spotting shapes in the clouds.  Thinking about what he would do with his time off.

Mar came to the large tree that marked the halfway point.  He left the path and crossed toward it, stepping over fallen branches and high weeds.  He patted the trunk and walked around to the rear, sliding a little down the embankment toward the creek.  He dipped a hand in the water, sniffed it and sipped.  Ahljaela reached into his small pack and removed a cloth napkin.  Inside were three wheatballs.  Like hardened oatmeal, Mar took scoops of the food from his breakfast this morning, balled them up and squeezed them to express any water.  He hid them in his pack in his room.  Even though he shared space with twelve people, he knew no one would look in his things on the last day of the cycle.  Still, if he had been caught, he would be fired.

He pounded the wheatball with his fist and it cracked into three pieces.  He scooped water from the creek, popped a piece in his mouth and then chased it with the water.  He let it sit for a moment to loosen the paste up.  He swallowed and closed his eyes.  Mar reached behind him and removed the now-empty plastic bottle and filled it again in the creek.  He put another shard of the wheatball in his mouth and sipped from the bottle as he climbed the hill and sat against the base of the tree.  He rested for only ten minutes.  Sipping and eating.  Then he walked again.

The sun set and he saw the hills in the last orange light of the day.  The green expanse of fields receded to gray but he kept walking straight.  A few minutes later, lights popped on in the homes ahead.  He smelled the field of cabbage to his right.  The thick scent of chlorophyll and damp soil.  It must have rained here earlier.  On the left side of the road, the fumarella plants smelled the same.  There was a slight spice to it, though, carried across the street on the breeze of the now-infrequent passing vehicles.

The moon was barely half full.  Its light wasn't much, but it helped keep him on the dirt path.  His white and beige clothes kept him visible to that occasional car.  He passed three houses and their fields.  Then the fourth.  The fifth was his.

Mar's hand touched the wood of the fence and gate and he sighed again.  He pushed it open and closed it quickly, latching it.  He walked down the small slope between the sections of wheat and up the hill toward the house.  The only light on was the porch lamp, so he knew he was too late to see his sons.  He set the pack on the step, knocked on the wood and walked to his right.  He passed a goat and shuffled through the thick green grass before it tumbled down toward the stream.  He groaned and let his pack drop.  Then he slipped out of his shirt and pants.  As he kicked his shoes off, he heard his wife coming.

"Hello," Laphé said.

"Hello."  Now nude, he turned toward her and kissed her on the mouth. 

She pulled her head back quickly and said, "Yes.  Please, get in the water."  He laughed and put his foot in.  He gasped and she tossed the bar of soap to him.  It was waist deep and he crouched down to wash a week's worth of filth from him.

"How is everyone?"

"The boys are good," she said.  Laphé sat on the hillside and kept speaking, "Father is the same."

"Of course."

"The indoor pump broke again."

"Again?"  Mar splashed water onto his head and shivered.  "Is it fixed now?"

"Yes.  I traded with Stam over the hill.  She wanted a barrel of milk to do it."

"All at once?"

Laphé laughed.  "No.  Of course not.  She's gotten about a quarter of it so far."  She paused.  "I hope that was the right thing."

Mar shook his head in the near darkness.  He looked to his wife and saw her silhouetted against the orange-yellow porchlight.  "Your decisions don't need my approval.  You run this house now."  She nodded and he left the stream.  He took the towel from her and said, "The walk home was uneventful."

She leaned over toward his clothes and reached into the shoes and pockets, pulling together the bills.  She held them up to the light and squinted to see the color of the Caesar's faces.  "Twenty-two."

"Yes."  Mar pulled on his pants and said, "Any unexpected expenses this week?"

"Rovil's birthday." 

He playfully smacked his head.  "Of course.  He wanted that toy plane?  That's just one denar."  She nodded and hugged him.  "Still leaves two for the jar."

Laphé smiled and kissed her husband.  "Siler River's the best thing that's ever happened to us."





IV
DONOVAN
162 Years Before the Fall

"Your attention, please," an unseen announcer said over the image of the emperor's seal, a stylized metallic eagle whose wings encircled a mask painted blood red over a purple fluttering flag.  "Lord Imperator, Princeps Senatus, Caesar Maxentius the Ninth."

The seal dissolved and the elderly visage of the Caesar appeared.  He was seated behind his desk in the palace and the sun shone through the window behind him, illuminating his thin, silver hair.  He was wearing his usual dark gray military tunic with the gold and jeweled necklace that draped under his plum-colored epaulets and over his shoulders.

"Greetings, Tiberia," he said.  With a slight grin, he continued, "I speak to you today regarding a great opportunity, not only for the citizens of our great nation, but for all of Larsa."  He looked down at his papers and lifted them somewhat while lowering his face.  "As you well know, science has afforded us many luxuries and improved all our lives.  I have spoken to our science consul and our health consul and I know there are still a great many things we can accomplish."

"Remarkable," Dr. Ryall Donovan said.  He was staring intently at the monitor hanging in the hallway.  The Caesar's face was still partially obscured and he kept speaking.

"I have established a program to begin research into a life extension project.  For this, we will need the help of the greatest minds the world has to offer.  Whether by medication or cloning, robotics or gene manipulation, I know an answer is out there.  The person who divines the proper path will secure for themselves, not only a vaunted place in Tiberia, but an equally important place in history.  The lives of many millions will be bettered, and none more than yours, brilliant scientist or gifted doctor."

He lowered the paper and looked toward the camera, grinned again and said, "Certainly there are governments that may not agree with me and my aims, but I assure you … this is for more than Tiberia's sake."  He looked down again, the paper covering the lower half of his face.

"The details you require can be found through the science and health consulates.  If you are prevented from this research by your government's antiquated rules and regulations, you will be welcomed to Tiberia.  If you would seek entrance to our nation, simply contact the nearest Tiberian embassy and it may be arranged."

He dropped the paper to the desk and lifted his head.  The Caesar straightened and put his right hand on the surface.  "Today begins a new era.  Good fortune to us all."  He balled up his pale, arthritic fist and pressed it against his left breast.  "Long live the Empire."

The image dissolved back to the fluttering flag and then the news anchors began to speak.  Donovan reached over and turned it off before walking away.

"He's expecting me," he said to the guards outside the chamber.

"Yes, sir."  They stepped aside and the double doors opened.  Donovan entered two paces and bowed, waiting for Caesar's welcome.

"Your thoughts?"

The doctor raised his head and slowly advanced.  He hadn't been given the usual formal invitation but he proceeded.  "Very convincing, imperator."

"I believe so, as well."  The sound came from all over the room, but Donovan kept his attention focused on the large cube in the center.  Lights flickered along its surface and Caesar spoke again, "I spent a few days recording bits and pieces of video last year.  I provided the new audio just yesterday."

Donovan nodded.  Caesar said nothing.  The doctor lightly cleared his throat and said, "What manner of response do you anticipate?"

"I have scoured the Matrix for businesses, institutes and individuals who have made strides in this direction.  I have identified three dozen who have great potential."

The doctor licked his lips and said, "Imperator, what if cooperation is required?"

"Elaborate."

"Myself, for example."  He folded his hands behind his back and continued, "I am well versed in neurology and developed the memory transfer techniques.  But I know nothing of cloning or robotics.  My computer skills are … excellent, if I may be immodest …"

"You may," Caesar interrupted.

"But that is not my primary field.  For you to become mobile, minituarization of that technology will be required.  This is not something that I am able to do presently.  I know few in Tiberia who can."

"And you believe multiple people, working in concert, will be necessary."

Donovan titled his head down.  "I do, lord." 

Caesar paused and then said, "Perhaps.  I will monitor all responses to my message and determine what course of action will be required."

"I may be in error," the doctor said.  "Someone may develop an answer on their own."  His clasped hands rubbed within each other and he spoke again, "However, I do not believe an organic solution will be found.  Our understanding of genetics has not progressed far enough to allow for a true clone of your former self.  Or even the implantation of your mind upon another's."

"Given your apprehension," Caesar said, "are you now rescinding your role as leader of the program?"

Donovan nearly scoffed.  A flush of fear raced through him as he stopped himself and he quickly spoke, stammering, "Absolutely not, imperator.  I was merely providing counsel."

"Of course." 

Donovan stared at the cube a while longer and watched the indicators.  They weren't illuminating rapidly as they so often did when the leader was in deep thought.  He wondered if he should return to the door.

"Doctor," Caesar said, "I expect you to evaluate each possibility on its own merits.  However a solution presents itself, I want you to put aside your prejudices."

"Of course, lord.  The thought had not entered my mind."  It truly hadn't.

Caesar paused and then said, softly, "And each possibility must be fully tested and vetted."

"Absolutely, imperator."

The emperor's famous paranoia persisted even in his present form.  Donovan quickly remembered conversations tinged with fear and anger.  A frail, old man pointing a crooked finger in the doctor's face, warning of severe retribution should his mind be pulled from his body and dispatched into the ether.  Killed in the most sophisticated and technologically advanced manner possible.

That thought had entered his mind.





V
THE MESSENGERS
162 Years Before the Fall

With whispered instructions, The One set these beings upon the first world it had found.


They were without form and looking upon on the plains of western Isinnia from a high peak.  They were flooded with input.  Sound, sight, scent … they reeled and basked all at once.  Finally, one planted their feet on the rockface and gripped the branch of a tree.

"This … is different."  It took the form of a man and spoke hesitatingly.  He opened and closed his mouth, testing his jaw, and turned his head to look toward the lights of a nearby city.  "There is something fragile about this life."

The other collapsed on the slope and turned toward the companion.  It was like unto a woman and she gasped for air.  "I do not understand."

"Slow."  He reached for her and she brushed him away.  She stood and wobbled when she became erect. 

"Fragile, yes," she said.  She looked at her hands and said, "Not like the others."

He took in a deep breath through his nose, pursed his lips and expelled it.  "But the tree …"

"Yes," she said.  "I can see it."

The One visited countless universes, searching for the results of sentient life.  Decisions upon decisions, branching through eons … The One harvested these "trees," in a way, and was sustained by them.  When guidance for their growth was needed, it set these tenders upon those worlds that the plant born of free will may become stronger and longer lasting.

He released the branch and his body became like a wisp.  Visible yet not present.  He smiled and looked to his companion, "I understand the allure of this one."

She did not respond.  She was staring at the civilization below and narrowing her eyes.  "I see shadows."

"Of the past?  I see them also."

"No.  Of the future."  She shook her head and continued, "They are … thin.  I can't focus on them."

He squinted and then said, "Yes.  A limitation of this realm?"

She accepted that as true and said, "The will of these beings is even more important now.  Their decisions may make the future more visible to us."

He turned his head from side to side, as though he were trying to make out some distant, wavering image.  "I see a great fire, as well."

"The end of the tree," she whispered.

He paused and then said, "What is your plan?"

She looked at him and said, "The One's plan, as always.  To insure the survival of life so the tree may grow."

He nodded and allowed his body to drift down the mountainside toward the city.  She did the same as he said, "It will be done."

That's it. Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments or on Twitter, Facebook, etc.

Writing, Again: Part VII - Overcoming Stumpings

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I'm still here.

For whatever reason, on Book Five, I find that I've written in spurts.  Mentally, I have the whole thing planned.  On the screen, I outline several chapters (I type the chapter heading, followed by a brief description of what happens).  Then I write those chapters.  This gets me from one "part" of the book to the next.  Once I've written one "part," I find myself stumped.  I'm not sure why.

The first stumping was profound and I took quite a break.  Subsequent stumpings have been far briefer.  I just came off one.  It was the wrap-up of one section of the book before a time jump and the big goings-on pre-holocaust.  After a few days of nothing, I sat down and banged out the final twenty-plus chapters (in outlines, of course) over the weekend.  Now I have the full structure of the book in front of me.  I just have to fill in the blanks.

One thing I am worried about, though, is the length.  My personal target for Book Five was 120,000 words.  That's how long Book Three is.  I figure if I can keep it under that, I'll be doing well.  I've got 87,000 words so far.  I don't think I can keep it under 120,000.  Of course, there will be editing later and maybe even some serious pruning, so who knows?

Does the length bother you?  Seriously, I want to know.  Hopefully, the book is interesting and entertaining enough so you don't notice it, but I'd like to see how many of you would be put off by having a 130K, 140K, or 150K word book to read.

Let me know in the comments.

In the meantime, here's a piece from the book I enjoyed writing.  I hope you'll enjoy reading it:


On the banks of the Tiber River, east of the city, the commanders of the artillery looked to the trees on the opposite side.  The Gargano Forest was an ancient sanctuary, but it was a tactical detriment today.

"Do it," Magister Sivius said.

Seconds later, after generals spoke into their radios, explosions rippled behind the tree line.  Flames clung to trunks and reached the leaves.  Smoke poured into the sky and the vast crackling was only overshadowed by the sounds of breaking wood.

The trees glowed and ebbed a sickly orange.  The winds were kind and kept the smoke away from the assembled army.  Flames dotted the forest and kept it alight.

Just before dawn, the first shot was fired.  A commander near a large machine gun emplacement slumped over, dead.  The men ducked and looked around. 

"In the forest!" a centurion yelled.

Sivius and his tribunes raised their telescanners and saw blackened and ashen trees, still glowing red.  Some were on fire.  In that hot forest moved Cyclops.

More to come ...

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Just a few chapters to go ...

Once I finish the first draft, I'll begin the re-reading and the editing phase of everything.  Once I'm in that swing, I'll be in a better headspace to post on a regular basis.

And I have plenty of things lined up before Book Five's release.

Consummatum est

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Now for weeks of re-reading and editing.

Let's just hope it doesn't suck.

Writing, Again: Part VIII - Setting the Scene

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As I settle down for the reading/editing process, I thought maybe one or two of you might be intrigued to see where the "magic" happens (click to enlarge):


  1. Map of the Twelve Colonies of Kobol.  A portent of things to come.
  2. Snacks.  Dark chocolate M&Ms (brain food!) and water with a squirt of lemon juice.
  3. Reference books.  Classical Myth and Wheelock's Latin.
  4. Nook.  Loaded with the previous four Lords of Kobol books for quick reference.
  5. Notepad.  Loaded with ideas more than a couple of years old.
  6. Map in progress.  Basically a blank map of Larsa; I scribble in city and country names as I write.
  7. Post-Its.  The ones on the left are ideas that occur to me throughout the day and I slap them there so I can remember to incorporate them later.  The four or five on the right are lists of names, mostly.  All of the Olympians, Titans, in what order did Cronus eat Zeus' siblings ...
  8. I don't know what to call these.  They're things I mess with as I type or think.  There's a pasteboard cylinder with a lid that opens and closes.  The air resistance is nice.  A pair of Lego plates that I connect and disconnect in one hand.  One of them developed a crack a few weeks ago.  On the day I finished Book Five, it finally broke.  I don't know what that means.  I used to have an old glowstick that I gnawed on like a cigar but my wife took it away from me.
  9. Universal remote.  I use it to control my Blu-ray player which is always playing Bear McCreary's thirteen hours of Galactica-related music.
  10. More notes.  That drawer is filled with notepads and scraps of paper on which I jotted ideas.
Ta-da.

Enough stalling.  Back to work for me.


Writing, Again: Part IX - World Building with Language

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In my post-writing phase, I intend to put up entries on all manner of topics related to (and maybe not) BSG, Lords of Kobol, etc.  Here's the first.



Language.  When you're writing a book, language is pretty damned important.  It's casts a tone over everything.  Word choice, dialogue choice, dialogue styles, ... it makes the world you're creating feel familiar or alien.  Whichever one you need.

For Lords of Kobol, I've tried to walk the line between familiar and alien.  Since the stories take place thousands of years before BSG, I have a wide degree of latitude when it comes to the world I've made and how the characters speak.  It needs to be familiar enough so that the reader is comfortable with it, but I want to inject things that make it feel foreign.

For example, in all of the books, I've managed to avoid having any character say, "OK." That's actually harder than you might think.  If I had to guess, I'd say that some of the characters on the show said "OK" on occasion, but not in my books.  "OK" dates to the early 1800s when there was an "abbreviation fad" (holy crap, life must've been boring then).  There also appeared to be a "misspelling fad," because "OK" came to mean "oll korrect." Apparently, "okeh" is a Choctaw word meaning "it is" and that came to be known at about the same time, so perhaps the two origins are intertwined.  Regardless ... I felt "OK" was too colloquial and decided not to use it.

Another one?  The word "luck" doesn't appear in the books.  Characters might say "good fortune," but they'll never say "good luck." Why?  I don't know.  It's just another way for it to feel alien.

One of the biggest traps for writers, particularly those who dabble in scifi or ancient times, is the use of idioms.  You know what an idiom is, right?  It's a phrase that doesn't mean anything logically on its face, but we understand what's being said.  For example, "fine kettle of fish."

Because this is set on another planet thousands of years ago, in Book Five, I use a variety of idiomatic substitutions.  Here are a few:
  • "elephant in the room" = "tiger in our face"
  • "carrot and stick" = "hook and worm"
  • "icing on the cake" = "sauce on the steak"
  • "heart of the matter" = "middle of the 'choke" (short for "artichoke")
  • "in the lion's den" = "in the bear's cave"
See?  Even if I didn't warn you about the new idioms, you probably would have figured them out easily enough.

Another means: tone of dialogue.  Think about historical films.  Let's choose a Roman epic, since that fits with Book Five.  Everyone has a British accent because, apparently, everyone spoke with British accents back in the day.  The rich patricians and the emperor will speak with a highly educated accent.  They'll enunciate all of their words.  They won't say certain things.  This conveys high class.  The plebians, the soldiers and other rabble will speak with a Cockney accent.  Something to convey low class.  That's the way these things work.

In Book Five, I do much the same thing.  The Caesar and his associates often speak in bigger words with a slightly more archaic tone.  The plebians in the story do not and they often employ contractions.  Zeus and his people speak like "we" do (modern Americans), with lots of contractions and an easy familiarity.  That's because this is the way they spoke in the previous books and also because we're supposed to be paying attention to them more intently anyway.  Lastly, the Messengers (BSG's angels) speak in a more "ethereal" manner.  Their word choices and tones are nearly biblical or Tolkienesque (just like all of Book Four).  This puts them at a distance from us; it makes them feel ancient, alien and out of reach.  (The narrative around the "tenders" also tends toward the Tolkieneque to aid with this feeling.)

That's all I've got for now.  Back to the reading and editing.  More posts to come in the near future.


Writing, Again: Part X - Prequel Problems

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I've typed on this subject before, but as I'm nearer the book's release, it seemed fitting to tackle it again.

There's an inherent problem with prequels.  If characters carry over from the original to the prequel, then we already know how they turn out.  So we have to make things interesting.  We have to do stuff with them that defies (some measure of) expectations.

Trust me, I didn't go so far as this.

Zeus and crew feature prominently in Book Five, of course.  But the Zeus we see is not the same Zeus we find in the trilogy.  There is a learning curve for him.  We get hints of the god who will rule Kobol, but he doesn't fully come into his own within these pages.

The same can be said for other characters that appear in the trilogy, but I won't go into further detail for fear of ruining any potential surprises.

Another problem?  Characters you don't know about and aren't familiar with at all.  Sometimes this isn't a problem and sometimes it is.

Like this guy.  Who cared about him in the Matrix sequels?  No one.  That's who.

Typically, that's a result of poor writing.  If A) the new character isn't intriguing and B) the older, beloved characters appear to be shunted aside in favor of the new characters, then you get audience displeasure.

By necessity, there are new characters in Book Five.  The subtitle alone tells you that the Titans are involved.  Also, as depicted in a Book Three flashback, we know that there's a Caesar, too.  I found Caesar to be a compelling character and I didn't mind dedicating plenty of space to him.  I don't believe the readers will mind, either.

Despite my own enjoyment of Caesar Maxentius IX, I know people are reading this for more Zeus, et al, and Cylons.  I felt duty-bound to get to them as soon as possible, so the creation of the Titans comes fairly early on.  (And the birth of the Olympians shortly after that.)  The bulk of the book is Titans vs. Olympians.  That's the whole point, right?

I was about a month into it when I realized I was falling into the prequel trap.  I was spending too much time with new characters and, as a consequence, the characters people wanted to spend time with were being shunted further and further back.  So I began to trim.  I had to be careful, though, as I needed to build the world.

Book One spends a good bit of time building the world of Kobol in the golden age of the Lords' reign.  When I first published the book, I probably had too many chapters doing that.  In subsequent edits, I removed a few.  It's a tighter book and the world doesn't seem to have suffered.

Book Five is much the same.  The world is very different, though.  It's not a world unified and buoyed by the gods.  I spent too long building corners of the world that could have been taken care of more organically as the story progressed.  All's well now and the book is shorter for it.  (Not much shorter, though.  Frak.  I'll discuss that at a later time.)

But there's a tiger in our faces.  I need to mention it.

I liked it.  A lot.

Caprica had very large shoes to fill, coming after BSG.  Unfortunately, the show seemed to spin its wheels for the first third or so of the season.  They got lost in world building and in character building, too.  They had a hard time getting the characters to a place where the audience truly wanted to spend time with them.  It's a shame, because they began to find purchase and gain ground in the latter part of the series, which, of course, was too late.

How did Caprica fare against the prequel problem?  Well, they avoided having any characters from BSG in it (though they did have the family members of some).  The entire show was made up of new characters, some of whom clicked better than others.  They jumped into it, whole hog.  Props for the attempt.  If the early going hadn't seemed so slow and had "SyFy" treated it better, I'm sure we'd have a few seasons of a good-to-great prequel to reflect upon.

More posts coming soon ... including maps, mythology, and the problem with Galactica.

Writing, Again: Part XI - Finalized Maps

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This will be a short one.  I thought you might like to see the final maps that appear in Book Five.

Click to embiggen

As I stated in an earlier post, since Larsa is very Tiberia-focused, the map moves them to the center.  Also, much of the world recognizes Tiberia's names for geographical points of interest (Isinnia, Eridia, Badaria, etc.) instead of the more ancient Attican names that Zeus, et al, employed in the trilogy (Galatia, Scythia, Illyria, etc.).

Like previous maps I've made, the place names come from actual geographic features I found on an ancient Latin map of the Roman Empire as well as variations of ancient cities and lands from all around the world.  In the trilogy, I stuck to ancient Greece since Zeus, etc., named everything after Attican sites.  This time around, without a unifying influence, it seemed logical to name things based on all kinds of differing backgrounds and histories.

Click to embiggen

Since much of the action takes place in Isinnia, I knew I'd need a more detailed version so I could squeeze in more names and labels.

That's all for now.  More reading and editing to do.  More blog posts coming soon, too.

Writing, Again: Part XII - Retcon Me

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You've already read some parts of Book Five.  No, not from the chapters I've posted.  I'm talking about sections in the trilogy that you've already read.

You have already read them, right?

Did I just copy & paste those flashbacks into the new book?  Did I radically change things around?  Did I totally rewrite all of Zeus' back history, meaning I'll need to do another rewrite on the trilogy?

Minor spoilers and answers after the JUMP.





So you're making a prequel or a sequel and the original had already laid out some basics as far as either the backstory or the future plans.  But then that sequel or prequel arrives and something has changed.

From a certain point of view.

The reasons for such a thing are myriad.  In many cases, what seemed like a good idea at the time of the original writing doesn't work out so well when you're doing the follow-up.  Or maybe you had a better idea in the time between the two.  At any rate, this can leave problems and inconsistencies with the original.

No, that's something else entirely.

So.  The question you're asking now is, "Oh, crap.  What did he do?"

Short answer is "nothing." Long answer is "Not much."

Throughout the trilogy, Book Five-era things were teased or flashbacked to.  Ares captured by the Caesar's men.  Zeus watching TV with Cronus.  Cronus shooting Zeus in the face.  Captain Anaxo getting his mission from Attica's president.  The "sock chapter" (fending off Cylons with a homemade EMP).  Stuff like that.

Simply put, I opened up Books One, Two, Three, highlighted those portions, pressed "ctrl+C", went to the Book Five file and then pressed "ctrl+V." Seriously.

The "fun" part was finding a way to make them fit within the narrative I was creating for Larsa that was.  It worked out pretty damn well.

The ONLY retcon, of sorts, comes from a flashback to when Hera confronted Zeus about Leto, who was pregnant.  In that scene, Hera says something like, "Oh, I'm sure you got a place for her on one of your ships," and Zeus says something like, "I secured a place for you on the Olympus." Of course, there were two ships for them to get on.  In my head at the time of the original writing, there were going to be far more than just twenty-something Olympians running around.  Hundreds, maybe.  I didn't really think I'd be writing a prequel to it.  Once I got around to doing so, having hundreds of Psilons (as they're called) seemed impractical and didn't fit the story.

Well, the retcon here comes without really changing that scene at all.  Immediately after Hera storms out into the rain (which is where the flashback ended in the trilogy), I had Zeus sit down, all dejected-like, and think, "I should have said, 'I secured a place for you on the Olympus ... with me.'" It fits with his character as being a dude who can totally love two women at once and actually mean it.

I'm pleased to say that's it, really.  I didn't have to change anything else.  I was pleasantly surprised that all of those little vignettes I wrote four years ago just to give some flavor and depth-of-history to my characters could have a place in a full-blown prequel novel.  Sure, all of the flashbacks from the trilogy are from places close to the end of the story (typically in the heat of things with the Titans or the Cylons) and that added some length ...

But I'll save length for a whole 'nother post some other time.

Next post, however, is all about myth.


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