Look at that GIF there.  Godzilla has rarely looked as terrifying and badass as he does in this movie.  And thanks to the score by the great Akira Ifukube, he's rarely sounded as evil, either. 

As I've said before, I love continuity and that's a big reason why I'm a fan of the Heisei era films.  Each one is connected to the next and with this one, the last in this connected saga, it harkens back to the original 1954 film. 

We see Dr. Serizawa in clips from the film.  We see Dr. Yamane's daughter, played by the same actress from the first movie.  And Godzilla's enemy here was born from the very weapon that killed his counterpart in the first movie: the Oxygen Destroyer. 

That's Destoroyah, one of the biggest and scariest damn monsters you've ever seen.  It shifts size and appearance throughout the movie, but the above is his most fearsome form. 

The action, for one thing, is great: 

Godzilla's suit glows and emits steam/smoke the whole time and Destoroyah seems to unveil a new weapon whenever he's on screen.  Godzilla takes a pounding but he delivers as good as he got.   

Even with all this action is the knowledge that Godzilla is going to meltdown.  Being born from radiation and eating reactors over the years will catch up to you, and that's why he's burning in this movie.  When Godzilla dies, the world might die with him.  So even though we want Godzilla to win ... we have to root for the humans to stop his death from being such a violent one. 

In the end, his death is handled beautifully and gracefully: 

And from his ashes springs the next generation: Godzilla Junior, all grown up (and thankfully never as stupidly cute as he was in Spacegodzilla): 

What's not so good in this movie?  To my mind, only two things. 

First, Destoroyah has several moments and abilities in this movie that are direct lifts from the Alien franchise.  Most obviously the internal extending tiny mouth thing.  Also, the bit with the soldiers in the building, wearing some sort of harness for their rifles while looking at motion detectors ... straight outta Aliens.  It wasn't handled badly or anything.  It was just a very distracting choice. 

Also, Destoroyah's death.  He gets super-atomic blasted by Godzilla and then ultra-low temperature laser blasted by the humans right after.  I'm sure he cracked apart or something but we're never explicitly shown this or told this.  He just falls back to the ground and disappears in a huge plume of smoke and debris.  Of course, the reason for this was simple.  The climax of the film is about Godzilla's meltdown, which was imminent.  But I felt that Destoroyah's death should have been made more obvious, even if only for a few seconds. 

Godzilla vs. Destoroyah ... it doesn't get much better than this.  4.75 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Well, this one is also very important because baby Godzilla is the only Godzilla in the family, because Godzilla went meltdown and looks amazing but he melted himself. This movie has Destroyah, my favorite enemy!! Destroyah was a mini crab, a huge crab, a ultimate crab, and a Crazy monster! 

So, rating wise, i'll say 3.9 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

Well, this is probably the first movie on our list to do with Mythology. This movie is about when a guy is (not) cursed but he has a claw that turns himself into a monster that shoots rays of green phasers, and there's a eight-headed dragon that was made into a human and a sword (and a lightsaber), when the sword and the dragon guy touches, they turn back into a dragon and the monster guy kills him.  It's like Power Rangers vs King Ghidorah times 2.666666. 

So, rating wise, i'll say 1.4 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!! 

This movie is thick with Japanese mythology and it's based on some of the culture's oldest stories.  I can't help but feel they're being underserved by this film, but I'm not well versed enough about them to be certain. 

The hero is a prince who was believed cursed by his father, the emperor.  The emperor sends him off to fight barbarians, and he succeeds.  Father still doesn't like him.  So the prince goes and fights a sea monster and then finds out that an evil god is returning.  This is when Orochi shows up and the big fight finally happens. 

Honestly, I don't know what to say.  The characters may as well have been played by cardboard cutouts because that's about as deep as they were written.  Things lurch from scene to scene at either a breakneck pace or snail's crawl; the pacing is just horrible.  The human-on-human fight scenes are mostly laughable.  The structure of the plot reminds me of a video game where the player must journey from place to place and fight an increasingly difficult opponent at every turn. 

It's a strange pastiche.  Star Wars is on display here, fully evident with the lightsaber fight on the Moon (complete with sounds).  Power Rangers or Ultraman (or any number of other suit-based robot show) is evident in the form taken by our hero as he fights Orochi.  It's a clunky robot-armor suit with laser swords and light shields and such ... and then a robot bird comes down from heaven.  The prince occasionally gets an "angry face," a la Daimajin and shoots lasers from his eyes.  (I'm not sure where that originates but I feel like I've seen it before.)  The music vacillates between straight-cheeseball and complete knockoff.  Listen to the theme from the 1981 Harryhausen classic Clash of the Titans and then watch the movie.  You'll realize that the Titans theme is better and that Orochi "borrowed" liberally from it. 

What's good?  Well, the god of the barbarians is a lava monster.  He's pretty cool, but moments of the big fight with it are staggeringly lame.  There's a sea monster that looks like a cross between Biollante and Titanosaurus, but he's pretty forgettable.  Orochi looks mighty sweet as long as you focus on his heads.  His locomotion is laughable, to say the least. 

Orochi, the Eight-Headed Dragon ... hard to believe the director also did Destoroyah.  1 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Finally we've come to it.  The series of films that validate Gamera, in my mind.  When you look at what came before, you will see naught but silliness and camp.  As you might expect, that's all forgotten here.  Thankfully.  

Instead of being a prehistoric beast awakened by a nuclear blast, Gamera is now a twelve-millennia-old, artificially created creature made to fight off other artificially made creatures.  The Gyaos.  They were made to eat up the pollution created by that ancient civilization. 

That's all backstory.  We get a few Gyaos near the beginning who attack humans.  Then Gamera shows up ... as an island.  Then he's on land and fighting the smaller-than-expected bat-monsters.  In fact, they're wonky-eyed hand puppets for the first half of the movie: 

It's good stuff and even the humans are pretty good (with one exception). 

We get a taste of the good ol' Gamera formula when he's wounded in battle and goes off to recover for a while.  But here's how they've made it work and made it mean something, too.  When the Gamera "atoll" was found, they also found dozens of magatama (comma-shaped amulets).  One of them was given to a scientist's daughter and she formed a psychic link with the turtle.   

(Side note: I would love to buy a magatama like the one in the movie.  Why can't I?) 

She gives Gamera strength and when he's wounded, she's wounded, too.  (With exceptions.  See below.) 

Eventually, the Gyaos merge and become bigger, nesting in the ruins of Tokyo Tower.  Luckily, Gamera awakens before the eggs hatch and blasts them.  The battle is rather great: 

The tone of the movie is serious without being dire.  There are some moments of fun and the action is always good.  This might be the first film wherein computer-generated effects are so frequently inserted into the action scenes.  And it works.  Gamera's suit?  Looks great and gets even better as the trilogy progresses. 

There are a few shots that are downright beautiful.  The ones that most immediately come to mind are the ones near the end in which Gamera and Gyaos grapple high above the Earth: 

What are the exceptions I mentioned above? 

First, the exception to the well-done human characters?  The main government official, Saito.  I enjoyed hearing about the government's hand wringing over using the JSDF against a threat (after all, post-WWII, their military is supposed to be self defense only; thus the "SD" in "JSDF").  I even understand the initial desire to capture the Gyaos.  But Saito seems dead-set to kill Gamera as soon as he shows up.  Even after Gyaos escapes and kills more people, he still wants to capture them and kill Gamera, even though the turtle is obviously trying to help humans.  It's not until near the end of the film that Saito turns around on the situation and this stretches credulity. 

The other exception is related to the teen girl and the magatama connection to Gamera.  Specifically, she gets cut when Gamera gets cut.  Happens a few times.  So how come she doesn't get a concussion (or worse) whenever Gamera falls from an incredible height, as he often does?  Right after Gamera falls to Earth with a great plume of debris, she's just standing there, clutching the amulet. 

Nitpicks. 

Gamera: Guardian of the Universe ... I believe in Gamera.  4.25 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Well, this one is Gamera vs Gyaos all-over again, but with three Gyaos' . But, this one is the second one on the list with the claw jewel of power. (Like in Orochi.)   

So, rating wise, 3.4 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

Well, this one is bad because the monster isn't in it that long. This movie is starring Crazy postal office guy, the stupid believing cop, Cryptozoologist girl, and Zarrkor. 

So, rating wise, i'll say 1.5 out of 5 Atomic Farts of Awfulness!!

What can you say about this piece of direct-to-video detritus that isn't derrogatory?  ...  Not much. 

An alien monster is beamed into a California mountain and begins a rampage.  Meanwhile, in Newark (with an establishing model shot that looks like that old HBO intro from the '80s), a postal worker is visited by a dimunitive "mall tramp," as he puts it. 

In a scene that half-reminds one of the Cosmos from Mothra, the aliens contact the postal worker via direct stimulation of his brain (meaning, she isn't there ... yet she can toss a pencil at him?).  She tells him there is no afterlife, the girl he likes doesn't like him back, oh, and he has to save the world. 

Why?  Because he is utterly average.  Of all the people on Earth, he is in the dead middle when it comes to their ability to take on the giant invader.  It didn't seem clear during this scene, but Kevin (?) later tells us that the aliens are testing mankind. 

After the fifteen-minute long brain visitation scene, the postal worker goes to a TV station to kidnap a cryptozoologist, leading to a fifteen-minute long hostage situation.  A police officer improbably believes Kevin, turning on his partner, and helps in the abduction.  Then there's a ten-minute long scene with one of the cryptozoologist's old college friends.  Then ten minutes in an Arizona café where an alien artifact fell from the sky.   

Add all of that up and it's a lot of time spent with humans.  Humans who are pretty bad actors.  With pretty bad dialogue. 

The scene wherein our average hero finally confronts Zarkorr consists of him walking down a street and saying, essentially, "Come at me, bro!" 

And he's not holding up that alien shield-thing he found, either, for some reason. 

Altogether, giant Baphomet-like Zarkorr itself isn't in the movie more than five minutes.  Tops.  (And the special effects guy?  Richard Elfman, brother of Danny.) 

Looking for logic in this movie is folly.  It's clearly designed to be fun.  My problem?  It's not. 

Zarkorr! The Invader ... the suit looks pretty cool.  1 out of five stars.

After weeks of the Heisei Godzilla films and the first Heisei Gamera movie, I really had to tell myself, again and again, "It's aimed at kids.  It's aimed at kids." 

In case you didn't already know, RoM is aimed at kids. 

Don't worry.  You'll figure that out with a quickness. 

Bratty, shrill children.  Inept adults.  That parent who's only worried about work but comes around by the end of the film.  You know.  The usual. 

The low points are fairly numerous, including a nigh interminable fight scene between the "good" Elias and the "bad" Elias in the kids' home.  Seriously, it goes on for at least ten minutes. 

Elias?  Oh, yeah.  That's the new name for Mothra's diminutive custodians.  Shobijin.  Cosmos.  Elias.  All the same, I guess.  And there's a third one this time, and she's evil, riding on a little robotic demon-type thing.  The good Elias ride a small version of Mothra they call Fairy. 

I'll say this for the Rebirth series: we get some new creatures and new designs.  We're introduced to Mothra Leo in this movie, as well as the antagonist Desghidorah. 

If the name looks familiar, so does the monster. 

Yep.  Desghidorah destroyed life on Mars sixty-odd million years ago, but it was imprisoned by the Elias' civilization until it was freed by a greedy logging company (PSSSST, MESSAGE!). 

There's a greater problem with Desghidorah ... but I'll save it for the review of Rebirth of Mothra III when another prehistoric three-headed menace menaces the world. 

Here's the basics.  Desghidorah looks pretty metal.  Mothra, Mothra larvae and Mothra Leo get some good action.  You just have to wade through about an hour or so of fluff to see it all. 

Rebirth of Mothra ... I hope you like glitter.  2.5 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Well, this one is starring Mr and Miss Obvious because they overexplain everything, their two annoying kids and the stupid Mothra twins who sing even more than usual. Almost-King ghidora is in this series so much, and it's really confusing me between this movie and the third one.  

So, rating wise, i'll say 2.009 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

Well, this one is when a alien race of mutant bug-creatures that rely on air pressure and eat glass and plant eggs that explode and they can combine into a giant of them. I liked the fight at the end and the scene where they swarmed the subway. (Subway, eat Gamera.) 

 So,rating wise, i'll say 3.6 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness

I'll get my main complaint out of the way first: Gamera doesn't show up until half-an-hour into the film.  Monster-wise, we only get the small Legion creatures ... and that's it. 

But that's not entirely bad.  We get to spend time with Midori, a science teacher, her friend, Obitsu, and a JSDF colonel.  In contrast to many monster movies -- especially the older Gamera films -- these people feel like real people.  They're not caricatures.   

Other complaints?  The use of computer-generated effects.  Check that.  Some of the effects.  These were the early days and they were certainly ambitious ... unfortunately, they haven't held up too well.  I'll point to the scene wherein Gamera gets swarmed by the small Legion as a prime example.   

There are, however, other scenes with CGI where it still looks fine.  They're ambitious and I appreciate that. 

Also, the music.  It's serviceable.  It fits the mood ... but there's nothing memorable about it.  As I type this, it's only two hours after we finished the film but I couldn't hum a lick of the score.  It's a shame that, beyond the "turtle meat" Gamera march of old, there isn't a recognizable theme that is exclusively Gamera's. 

Good stuff.  Legion itself.  Huge, interesting and scary.  The smaller Legion escape some of the traps that the tiny Destoroyah fell into.  While Destoroyah were sometimes just action figures on screen, Legion doesn't feel like that.  Plus, they weren't ripping off Alien.  They often felt genuinely scary.  I guess popping a subway conductor's head will do that.  The science behind Legion felt legit, too.  Silicon-based life; flowering; the oxygen.  It could all be BS, but it passed my sniff test. 

The action is very good.  There's one shot, in particular, of Gamera's approach to the Sendai airport ... it's just well done.  And then the big Legion and Gamera fight until Sendai is virtually annihilated.  Legion then continues to kick unholy amounts of butt in its approach to Tokyo: 

The structure of Legion's approach is handled well.  We're told the time of each encounter and the geography feels clear.  Better than even that, we see a lot of the action from the street level.  Looking up through stoplights toward Gamera and Legion makes it feel that much more accessible and real.   

In the end, Legion unleashes some sort of energy whips (a la that first Angel in Evangelion, right?): 

And then Gamera unleashes a heretofore unknown power: a massive energy blast from the chest. 

There's also a great shot of Gamera walking down the street, the force of his footfalls causing items on the sidewalk to jump and glass in phonebooths to shatter.  I'm not sure why, but I loved that. 

I should mention that the teen girl, Asagi, is back.  She's still wearing her magatama amulet, though her direct connection to Gamera was supposedly severed at the end of the last film  Here, she's still pulling for the turtle and the magatama shatters in her hand when Gamera reawakens in Sendai.   

I know a lot of people are down on Gamera 2, especially after the first movie of this era, but I felt it carries on the series more than adequately. 

Gamera 2: Advent of Legion ... a very solid entry.  4 out of five atomic breath blasts.

It's like thematic whiplash, going from the great Gamera trilogy to the Mothra trilogy ... but here we are. 

We're treated to a different batch of annoying kids this time.  (In the old Gamera series, the children were smarter than any adults around.  Not so with these kids.)  We also get a pair of bumbling thieves, conned by the evil Elias sister into helping her rob an ancient temple.  The kids, of course, are helping the good Elias, along with the help of an earless Furby with magical urine.  I'm not kidding. 

"I ain't a Mogwai, that's for sure." 

We get yet another long chase scene between the good and bad Elias sisters.  This time it's in a forest and, somehow, it's more poorly composited than the living room scene in the last movie.  Poor compositing was also a problem in the big bad guy's attack on land. 

Funny thing: for the first time in one of these movies aimed at kids, a monster destroys a school but a big deal isn't made about it.  There should have been a couple of kids cheering him on, only to have a teacher or parent scoop them up and carry them away. 

So, the bad kaiju, Dagarla (Daghara), was created by an ancient civilization to dispose of pollution.  Gee, that sounds familiar.   

Also, the fights between it and Mothra are pretty good (except for the CG water funnel ... and all the visible strings).  The requisite beam weapons.  The requisite glitter.  The grabbing and tossing of large suits.  Dagarla's pit smoke is a puzzler, though. 

Mothra Leo gets a makeover, though, for the third act and becomes "Aqua Mothra," as seen up top.  This is so the moth can go underwater and fight Dagarla on its home turf after being covered in evil barnacles.  A water moth is a strange enough idea (especially since it mostly looks like a flying fish), but the CG-laden execution of it with swarms of tiny Aqua Mothras is so very dull and poor ...  But we get Rainbow Mothra (Mothra of Many Colors?), so that's pretty nice. 

In the meantime, via the kids and the dumb crooks, we get an abject lesson in trust and lying.  It's ridiculous.  And then there's the futuristic ancient temple and the hologram princess ... just nonsense. 

Regardless.  If you're thinking of watching this just for the action, you're going to be disappointed.   

Rebirth of Mothra 2 ... why won't the kids shut up?!  1.5 out of five atomic breath blasts.

The most stupid parts were all the screaming and grunting from the kids and just about everything in the temple. They were totally ripping off some of The Indiana Jones movies and they copied the invisible bridge. And the evil monster couldn't move his arms at all. It just swam around and shot smoke and laser beams. 

So, rating wise, i'll say 1.9 out of 5 Atomic Breaths Of Awesomeness!!!

Well, starring in this one, Mario as a space mushroom, the good empire (since their ship looks like a Death Star), and a sea demon. But anyways, there was one part where Kraa crushes a building with a Godzilla poster on it. i like it, i hated it, we all hated it. 

So, rating wise, i'll say 2.3 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

From the people who gave us Zarkorr! comes this ... this ... thing. 

Look.  I won't bother with a lengthy synopsis or rundown of all that's right and wrong with it.  That would mean I'd be spending more time on this than the filmmakers did.  Here's just a few of the biggest tidbits. 

Kraa itself is reminiscent of a large reptilian Critter: 

Mogyar, the alien sent to stop Kraa, speaks with a massively stereotypical Italian accent (not unlike a certain Nintendo character), is never shown in full and looks like a cross between a Koopa and a Goomba: 

Because the main narrative thread of the film came up short (the whole thing is only about 65 minutes), they apparently later filmed and then shoehorned several segments into the movie.  These all involve horrifically dated CG visual effects and a distinctly Power Rangers-esque group of attractive twenty-somethings called "Planet Patrol": 

(That's Alison Lohman on the far right as a rookie psychic, annoyingly called "kid" by the blonde '90s "sk8ter boi" douche next to her.) 

Speaking of Power Rangers, the villain who sent Kraa to Earth is this guy, Lord Doom: 

In the end, once Kraa is defeated by a staggeringly well-rounded biker scientist, the Planet Patrol fight Doom in one of the worst fights I've ever seen committed to celluloid.  Or VHS, I guess. 

I know this isn't supposed to be high cinema.  I know it's supposed to be fun.  The problem is ... it's so bad it's distracting. 

Kraa! The Sea Monster ... so very bad.  0.5 out of five atomic breath blasts.

The end of the Mothra trilogy goes out with a bang.  Comparatively. 

Yes, these movies have been made with kids as the target audience.  This one is no different.  Ah, but there is a difference.  For the first time, kids are in peril.  And not just the two or three kids the tiny Elias Twins befriend.  We're talking thousands of kids captured, possibly to be devoured or worse.  No, I don't get off on such things.  In this film, though, it gives the proceedings more weight than anything else in this trilogy. 

Ghidorah arrives on Earth and heads for Japan, as monsters are wont to do.  As he flies overhead, thousands of children are teleported away from schools and into some sort of undulating orb in the forest.  Why?  Don't know.  But it seems as though they're going to be digested when a caustic blue substance begins to bubble within the sack. 

James had the most darkly hilarious line of the night.  At their first meeting (seen in the GIF up top), Mothra shoots Ghidorah repeatedly and KG doesn't shoot back.  When I questioned why this was, James said, "Maybe he can shoot Mothra with children's souls." 

Holy crap.  I laughed and then shook my head.  That's my boy. 

KG, we're told, came to Earth 130 million years ago and wiped out the dinosaurs (even though we all know they died out 65 million years ago).  The Elias then send Mothra back in time (Lightspeed Mothra being the same, appearance-wise, as Aquatic Mothra) to stop KG back then. 

This Cretaceous Ghidorah sure seems nimble, eh?  Anyway, he was more than a match for Mothra.  Even though the moth killed CG in a volcano, a bit of his tail came off, meaning KG could grow again from the tail.  Somehow. 

Rainbow Mothra, though, was mortally wounded, and three Cretaceous Mothra Larvae then coat their descendant in Silly String, meaning he can sleep for 65 (or 130) million years: 

When Mothra awakens, rested, he's now Eternal Mothra.  Fluffy, and ready to kick butt: 

The action that follows is pretty standard for these films.  Lots of beam weapons, biting of Mothra's wings, loads of glitter.  KG has a wicked move where he stomps Mothra and that's nice.   

There's some business with the Elias sisters ... one of the good ones gets possessed for a bit by KG, the evil sister is good all of a sudden ... it doesn't matter, really.  There's a nice scene with the lead kid who was bullied at school being told by the Elias that there's nothing wrong with being "sensitive," as she put it.  Frankly, I was just glad to have one of these films where the message wasn't environmental in nature. 

My main complaint with the film and, retroactively, the first of the trilogy, is the villain.  King Ghidorah.  In film one, they had Desghidorah, which is different from KG, even though DG has three heads, looks wicked, etc.  What I'm saying is ... even though we get a mighty mean looking KG, his impact feels diminished to me because Mothra already fought a three-headed alien prehistoric menace just two films back.  It feels like a retread.  That makes this movie suffer.  If they had just been a little more creative in the first one (maybe give Bagan a shot), it would have meant more now. 

Rebirth of Mothra III ... the best of the trilogy, for what that's worth.  3 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Well, i didn't like this one. So the third of the ghidora's is the king!! The reason I didn't like it is because, where's Godzilla? this is still in the same universe, right? But the mini puppet dinosaurs were cute. 

So rating wise, i'll say 1.9 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness

Like I've had to do for a couple of films on the list, I'll split my criticisms in twain. 

Despite fan howling that this isn't a Godzilla film, there are a few points where it manages to adhere to the familiar formula.  The two main characters are a scientist and a reporter (many kaiju films follow this narrative device ... primarily for storytelling purposes, of course).  Nuclear component (in original film, nukes awakened Godzilla; in Heisei era, they mutated a surviving dinosaur; here, mutates an iguana).  First attack is on a fishing boat at sea.  Military is wholly ineffective against it (well, until the submarine attack and the end of the film).   

Another point that I feel compelled to highlight is that Godzilla was killed in a "proper" Godzilla film before.  In the original Gojira, with the oxygen destroyer.  (I'm not sure Destoroyah's death counts as he was melting down due to his nuclear nature over several films.)  I will quickly follow up by saying he's never been killed by conventional weapons quite so "easily," though. 

What works well?   

When it comes to the monster itself, most of the effects.  The miniature work is great and most of the CG is very good, too.  The action scenes and set pieces are top notch.  I love his/her first appearance when it leaps out of the water, especially the added detail of boats stuck in its spines.  The music is mostly great, too, though it gets a bit too Jurassic Park-y in places.  The scope and production value of the movie feels huge and that's a pleasant change of pace from many Godzilla films.  Actor-wise, Jean Reno is good, as is Matthew Broderick and Kevin Dunn (Col. Hicks). 

What doesn't work? 

Comic relief.  Look, I know it's necessary to have moments of levity, but c'mon on.  They hired half the voice cast of The Simpsons, and they're not the worst of the bunch.  Who's the worst?  Mayor Roger Ebert and chief of staff Gene Siskel.  Just cut that stupid idea for a joke right out of the movie.  (Even if only because they're CHICAGO-based critics.)  I like Harry Shearer, but that's still too much comedy.  Leave the comic relief to just one character (Hank Azaria's "Animal") and a few moments with Philippe and Dr. Nick and that's it. 

The hatchlings.  It's a good idea and one that wasn't really explored in any Godzilla film, so I'm, basically, on board.  But it goes on way too long with way too dodgy CGI.  And it feels like something Jurassic Park did before and much, much better. 

(Although, we do get the better-than-it-should-have-been animated series from this scene.) 

Ill-advised choices.  For one thing, there are concepts that are introduced but never mentioned again.  Primarily Godzilla's radioactivity.  Why didn't that become an issue?  Another bad choice: having the military seem so inept.  When it first goes for the fish, the first shots fired against the monster go wide.  You can see the tracers firing off into the distance.  Of course they may have missed once it starts moving, but you've been aiming at a mostly still animal for the past few minutes, right?   

What is this movie's big sin when it comes to calling itself "Godzilla"?  The monster in question is really just a big animal.  It's looking for food, laying eggs, it gets hurt, etc.  Other than being really big, there's nothing nigh mythical about it. 

Godzilla ... gotta use two different ratings.  As a monster movie, 3 out of five atomic breath blasts.  As a Godzilla movie, 1.5 out five. 

And that's real breath blasts.  Not the fake kind they used in the movie to try and placate fans. 

Well, I like this one and I now don't. When I found out that the real one wasn't in this one, I was sad and mad. But, I still like it. The reason that I didn't like it is because Godzilla gets killed by missiles. The reason I did like it is that this was like a normal Godzilla movie, but with a different monster. 

So, rating wise, i'll say 4.1 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness, or 1.8 "fake breath blasts" of fakeness

Well, this one is a scary one, starring Slender Kaiju (Iris) and Good & Evil Gamera. The part that creeped me out was when Iris started to grow and Iris needed to "eat" something.  Iris, in my book, needs an award for Creepest Movie Villain. But, this movie was awesome too. Like when Gamera fired a fireball, You got to see all the people flying from the flame! 

So, rating wise, i'l say 3.8 out of 5 Atomic Screams of Fearfulness!!! D: 

"Gamera is a friend to children." 

We heard that so much in the Shōwa series that it became a joke.  An excuse for kids to be inserted however preposterously into the film's goings on. 

In the Heisei era, that thought still exists, but in a different way.  Kids are involved in the plot, but there is more meaning to it than ever before.  In the Shōwa movies, the kids were there to, presumably, give the target audience characters with whom to connect.  In this trilogy, the few kids we see are integral to the plots.  Asagi was once connected to Gamera and now Ayana is instrumental in Gamera's near destruction. 

If there could be a second subtitle to this movie, I would suggest "Collateral Damage." 

Rarely in kaiju films does the camera focus on the "little people." We're typically fixated on a scientist/reporter/military leader and their immediate family.  We see monsters stomp about all the time.  Buildings tumble and fall.  Fireballs engulf whole city blocks.  We don't see the impact, though. 

We do in this film. 

Between stomping feet, collapsing debris and explosive fireballs, we actually see dozens of people being killed.   

The battle in Tokyo is insane.  Yes, Gamera is killing Gyaos, but the collateral damage is massive.  Thousands and thousands die.  It looks like the kind of thing that probably happens all of the time, but we've never seen it before at the street level. 

The scene comes in the middle of a devastating sandwich of nightmares/flashbacks.  When we're introduced to Ayana, she's having a dream of her last memory with her parents.  That just happens to be during the course of the first movie in the trilogy with Gamera's inadvertent destruction of an apartment building.  She is a walking and talking personification of collateral damage.  And thanks to Ayana's tainted memory, Gamera takes on an evil (almost GMK) visage: 

I could go on and on about this movie.  The suits are outstanding.  The model work is amazing (the Kyoto station alone is staggering).  The look of Iris is both alien and lovely; and properly devastating when it needs to be: 

Is there anything that doesn't work? 

Some of the CGI gets dodgy, particularly at Gamera's first appearance.  That's nitpicky, though.   

The biggest offenders are the two weirdo government advisers who fancy the idea that Iris and Gyaos are supposed to wipe the Earth clean of both humans and Gamera.  The guy, in particular, is worthy of an eyeroll or three.  Their presence is unnecessary.  They distract from the true evil of the movie.  Excepting Iris, that evil is found inside a young girl. 

As another downside, I'm tempted to mention that Gamera doesn't appear in the movie for much of the first part of the running time.  I think this was a brilliant move, though, on the part of the filmmakers.  By keeping Gamera at a remove for so long, it somewhat alienates the viewer from the character.  It helps our sympathy for Ayana and what she's been through. 

Then, at the end, Gamera shows up in Kyoto and all hell breaks loose. 

A magnificent model gets smashed, Gamera gets impaled and then partially crucified.  And then, in a supreme moment of badassery, our favorite turtle blasts off his own trapped hand, lets Iris cauterize his wound with the enemy's own fire, and then Gamera thrusts his plasma-laden limb through his opponent. 

Iris is destroyed and Ayana is able to see Gamera for the hero he is, because he pulled her limp body from Iris before she could be absorbed.  The moment when she broke down is devastating and genuinely choked me up. 

Some complain about the ending as we see thousands of Gyaos descending toward Japan.  Gamera stands in the ruins of Kyoto, screaming.  Waiting.  And then credits.  Look, I would have liked to see that battle, too.  But it would have been anticlimatic after the emotional payoff of Iris' destruction.  And, like the end of Angel, it shows that the battle never ends.  Like Mayumi said, the last of the species will never give up. 

Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris ... perhaps the greatest kaiju film ever made and within the greatest series of kaiju films.  4.75 out of five atomic breath blasts.

What a mess. 

Not just the film.  It's a mess trying to understand the story behind the film, too.  When it was first made in 1999, it was pretty much a straight up remake of the original.  But then it was heavily edited and altered before being re-released in 2001 (supposedly to add all of the alien stuff).  Apparently it is only this latter version which is available on DVD. 

It's ostensibly a remake of Yonggary, a film I remember solely because of the kid who created a flashlight that makes the monster itch and dance.  Ugh. 

Beyond the name of the monster and the Korean names behind the scenes, there's nothing to connect the two. 

The cast is almost entirely American.  The characters are all written and played arch.  A maniacal-for-no-apparent-reason paleontologist.  A crazed paleontologist screaming about prophecy.  A weasely government type who's content to let aliens destroy the world if it means he can keep secrets.  Gung-ho military types.  Scared military types.  A wallflower female scientist who does little more than aid exposition.  And not a good actor in the lot. 

The script is rock stupid, too.  Here's one small example.  Aliens arrive and destroy a satellite and the Space Shuttle Atlantis.  The military generals we follow don't seem terribly concerned, apart from some urgent speaking.  Then one general asks, "Are you considering a preemptive strike?" Dude.  The aliens have already attacked.  By definition, any attack you make now can't be preemptive.  (And then there's the stupid nuclear countdown to attack Yonggary, even though he got beamed up and no one knows where he is.  The list goes on.) 

The special effects.  It's some of the best, most state-of-the-art work you've ever seen ... if you've only seen cutscenes from games on the Sega Dreamcast.  Truly horrible.  So very bad. 

Odd upside, though.  While the ones and zeroes smashing them are poorly assembled, the model work here is pretty damn good.  The buildings of "Los Angeles" are very well made.  (I'll also say that the early scene showing an explosion dispatching a group of scientists was well done, too.) 

The military is even less effective than they were in Godzilla (1998).  Despite supposed missile locks, only three or four actually hit the monster. 

Beyond the bad acting, beyond the bad effects ... there's a bad, nonsensical story. 

Aliens apparently brought Yonggary to Earth 200+ million years ago and have returned to awaken it and take over.  That's fine.  There's a diamond-shaped thing on the monster's forehead that lets it be controlled by the aliens, leading the military to target it.  That's fine, too. 

But then the thing gets hit by a soldier wearing a jetpack (don't ask) and the aliens lose control of him.  Then Yonggary becomes good.  For no reason whatsoever.  He holds up a building to keep it from crashing on people.  So the aliens dispatch another monster to fight Yonggary: 

That's Cyklor?  Cygor?  Who cares. 

This scorpion-like thing fights Yonggary for a few ridiculous scenes before Yonggary kills it.  Then the military takes Yonggary to an uninhabited island to live in peace. 

Other than the model work, the only other upside (I can think of) is that some of the early action set pieces are pretty good concepts.  Like the fossil that regrows and kills workers.   

Reptilian ... so bad.  1 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Well, this one is like Godzilla 1998, but in Korean.  So, this is a remake of Yonggary, and with Jet Packs, Six legged Scorpion Things, and More!! I liked it because of the realism(which is not that good), I hated it because of the unrealism. I was able to ignore the bad effects until that one soldier with a jet pack said something bad about Godzilla.  You don't talk bad about Godzilla!!!! 

So,rating wise, i'll say 1.9 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

Well, this one is one of the most horrible movies, they copied from Daimajin, but that's not it, one of the main characters gets his head chopped off and then he's the headless magic man and picks up his head.  And one of the kaiju is a frog? Seriously?

So, rating wise, i'll say 0.888856 out of 5 Atomic Farts of Awfulness!

As stated in our reviews for the Daimajin trilogy, I'm a sucker for samurai-style pictures, particularly of the Kurosawa variety.  So I enjoy feudal era tales. 

Usually. 

Just like two-thirds of the Daimajin films (which came out the same year ... hmmmmm), this one involves a benevolent lord who is betrayed.  The son is on the run and grows up in exile.  Then he returns and exacts some measure of revenge. 

That's the basic framework.  Throw in some wizards and ninjas and you've got Magic Serpent.  Like the equally unfortunate Orochi, The Eight-Headed Dragon, this film is based on a famous tale from Japanese history.  It earns its place on the list thanks to the presence of guys in suits fighting the battles. 

The lead bad guy is the dragon and the main protagonist is the giant horned frog (seen above).  They are goofy.  Beyond goofy.  To top it all off, the sound effects for the giant animals are reuses of Godzilla, Mothra and Rodan sounds. 

The model work is pretty good, even if the suits aren't.  The acting is ... there.  The music is often unnecessarily audacious.  The hair: just look at the poster. 

All of that plus some proto-Crouching Tiger wire-fu fight scenes and you've got yourself a movie. 

The Magic Serpent ... it's goofy, but not much fun.  1.75 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Godzilla is back and freed of the continuity that helped make the Heisei series great and the Showa series (usually) fun.  In this film, Godzilla simply exists and just attacks from time to time (there's no indication that this is Godzilla Jr. from before or that this carries on from any specific film in the series' past).   

This introduces us to a group of Godzilla "storm chasers" ... G-Chasers?  Whatever.  It's a cool idea and I like the thought of "civilians" tracking Godzilla.  Likewise, there's a government group led by a gruff scientist tasked with killing Godzilla. 

In the meantime, an ancient meteorite found on the ocean floor is raised (tantalizingly reminding me of Gamera: Guardian of the Universe) and begins flying around before zapping Godzilla.  We later find out that this alien craft (straight outta Flight of the Navigator) is looking for a lifeform's regenerative properties so it can reconstitute the aliens themselves.  They find Godzilla.   

There's not much new in the storyline.  Chasing Godzilla, aliens.  There are new things, though.  New Godzilla design, for one.  I'm not really a fan, but it's certainly well made.   

Not so well done?  The computer generated visual effects.  Ouch. 

I know 1999 was still, technically, the early days of CGI in films, but c'mon.  So much of it is so poorly done.  But I can forgive most of that. 

The digital compositing, though, is truly horrible.  This is noticeable especially in the daylight attack scenes.  Godzilla seems to have excessive film grain and he wobbles in the water as the camera moves around.  The tanks shift around on the shore, also with a poor-quality sheen, and lousily rendered CG helicopters sweep into the shot.  I'm all for using real cities and landscapes in shots like these ... it helps expand the scope of the film, but if you're going to do that, make sure it looks good.  The Gamera trilogy did it from time to time and it did look good.  This doesn't. 

Plus, there's an over-reliance on greenscreen.  People in offices are obviously walking in front of greenscreens.  Guys standing on top of tanks, walking on beaches ... There's so much obvious greenscreen work when there didn't have to be.  It's distracting. 

The big opponent this time around is the creation of the aliens, thanks to the Godzilla regeneration factor.  Orga looks like a massive hulk with a cool shoulder cannon.  Though each of Godzilla's breath blasts take out a chunk of Orga, he regrows it pretty quickly.  After he tries to suck the life essence out of Godzilla (via some more poorly done CGI), Godzilla decides to climb into Orga's mouth vagina: 

Apparently, blowing Orga up from the inside prevents the regeneration factor from working again. 

Then it ends with Godzilla killing the a-hole government guy.  For some reason. 

The day effects were crap but the night effects were good.  The characters were (mostly) developed.  The plot was familiar.  But it's Godzilla and that's good.

Godzilla 2000 ... nothing special but still enjoyable.  3 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Well, this one is a normal reboot. the story is that a asteroid falls to earth, Godzilla fights the asteroid, but the asteroid is actually a UFO. The UFO turns into a thing that tries to turn into Godzilla 2000 by eating him, but as we learned in Godzilla vs Biollante, there are consequences to eating Godzilla. Godzilla kills clone thing, done. 

So, rating wise, i'll say 3.7 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

Well, this one is pretty average. I liked it because it relates back to the first movie, I  hated it because they set up the next movie at the end, but Toho never really made one.   

So, rating wise, i'll say 2.5 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

As I continue to ruminate on Godzilla 2000, I realize that the movie felt like ... empty calories.  It was definitely a Godzilla movie and it had plenty of enjoyable bits.  Sure, the effects were often crappy, but it felt flat somehow.  I can't quite put a finger on why. 

None of that is different in this movie. 

Megaguirus does, however, endeavor to connect with the first film (though not with the ending of that movie).  It does this with footage from early films and with the newer suit digitally inserted. 

As you can see, it's a nice idea, but the compositing is bad.  Again.  In most of the daylight effects scenes, the wobble is there, the grainy sheen is there, the CG meganula/meganulon look too crisp ... Not much was learned in the months since the previous film was made.  Unfortunately, with all of the flying in this movie, their movements are wholly unbelievable, too. 

People-wise, we don't have the interesting "G-Chasers" to follow.  We have a revenge-seeking major from the oddly named "G-Graspers" unit and a robotics and computer expert.  And his fourth-grade physics teacher.  Nothing compelling at all on the human side of things.   

There is a hint of a conspiracy or something nefarious ... Godzilla is attracted to unnatural radiation and there's something nuclear in Tokyo at the end of the film, but we're given no real explanation for it, no identification for the people responsible and no real comeuppance, beyond a fist to the face of the official who covered it up.  That might have been an interesting thread to pursue, but nothing at all was done with it. 

The big plan to get rid of Godzilla?  A black hole gun.  No, Soundgarden.  Not "black hole sun"; black hole gun.  Let's pretend for a hot second that this can work.  How do they ensure that it won't engulf the Earth?  Regardless, a test of the weapon somehow creates a prehistoric dragonfly, the meganula.  How?  I have no idea.  They say "mutated" in the movie ... so we'll just go with that. 

The little bugs swarm Big G in one of the film's best action scenes: 

Godzilla skunks most of them with his breath before the black hole gun is fired and, somehow, spares the monster.  While they were attacking, they were sucking energy from Godzilla in order to transfer it to another meganulon that then becomes the gigantic Megaguirus.   

For the second film in a row, we get a monster that tries to drain Godzilla of his energy only to have Godzilla blast him thoroughly. 

Not quite the end, though.  The humans fire their black hole gun once more and, somehow, Godzilla survives. 

I'm sorry.  I'm all for the near-invincibility of Godzilla as we've seen in these movies, but G should have been thoroughly spaghettified by this weapon and therefore very, very dead.  (Couple that with the dialogue that suggests the makers of the weapon believed Godzilla would have been transported by the singularity and I think you can agree that the filmmakers didn't really have a grasp on what a "black hole" really is or does.) 

The action is mostly OK.  Nice connections to the past.  'Meh' characters, monsters and science. 

Godzilla vs. Megaguirus ... a step down.  2.25 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Well, this one is great! Godzilla is bad, and Mothra, Baragon, and King Ghidora are good. That's different and that cool! But the only bad thing are Godzilla had to kill Ghidora three times!! 

So, rating wise, i'll say 4.2 out 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

Let's be frank.  The Millennium Series hasn't been so hot thus far.  2000 was decent.  Megaguirus was ... (shrug).  Compared to those two, GMK is may as well be The Empire Strikes Back.  On first glance. 

For the third (or just second?) time in this era, we get a wholly different setup for the monster that ties back to the first film and no others (well, there's a quick reference to 1998's Godzilla).  This time, however, Godzilla isn't simply a monster created by the hubristic science-mad actions of humanity.  It is, in fact, a monster.  An evil, pupiless, sinister beast that seeks to punish and destroy.  Godzilla is the collective of victims' souls who suffered at the hands of Imperial Japan in World War II.  And Godzilla does indeed mete out punishment. 

I'll say it right now: I love this concept of Godzilla as a nigh invulnerable force of evil.  Of course, I prefer the version seen in the original films and the Heisei era, but this twist is one I greatly enjoy.  It's different and sometimes different is good. 

We can't have an evil Godzilla stomping Japan without someone to fight, so who do we get?  Baragon. 

The fight goes on for a while but the cute burrower just isn't a match. 

Next?  Mothra. 

Again, it's hard fought, but Mothra falls. 

Finally, Godzilla faces the force of goodness embodied by Ghidorah. 

Wait.  What? 

Yes, that's a stumbling block for me, too.  Sometimes I'm not able to get past it but when I do, I'm able to enjoy the movie more.  But it's difficult, I'll admit. 

I completely understand the reason why Toho went with Ghidorah, but I really would rather have seen the original line up of good monsters: Baragon, Varan and Anguirus.  Varan in particular hasn't had much to do since his solo effort.  But Mothra and KG put butts in seats, so there you go.  (The strategy worked.  GMK is the most successful film of this era.) 

What could have been ... 

Despite the inherent evil associated with this version of Godzilla and the national guilt dripping from the interpretation, in the end, the weight of these elements feels rather light. 

First and foremost, there is a large amount of humor injected into the story.  Mostly in the form of one liners and situational business (like the guy trying to take a leak when Godzilla attacks or the couple at the Baragon fight: "Take my picture and then we'll run") ... there's so much it undercuts the mood.  It's throughout most of the film.  They really should have scaled it back.   

The more I typed the more I realized how much that's the case.  The power and weight of the movie got sucked away at almost every turn because of the humor.  That's a shame. 

Also, there's a problem with the suit.  Not the head.  The head is aces.  When we get street-level angles looking up at Godzilla, it's particularly noticeable.  He ... jiggles quite a bit.  Now pudgy Godzilla suits are nothing new, but with the darker tone, it would have been better if he didn't wobble so much as he walked.  (And it seems to me the actor was moving his arms around a bit too much, as well.  That might be my imagination.)  

Special effects wise, just about everything was great.  The digital compositing is much improved over the previous films.  CG Mothra isn't as bad as one might think.  I absolutely adore the power of Godzilla's breath in that first blast from the film.  Oh, and I'm not a fan of Ghidorah's short necks.  Sure, when he's a simple guardian, but once he gets the power-up from Mothra, maybe he should look more like the Ghidorah we all know and love. 

Other tidbits: I liked seeing the inspector from the Gamera trilogy again ... The reporter's (Yuri) chase of Godzilla is well done, but the end with her and the whole bridge sequence just felt contrived to add more action to an already action-packed finale. 

Remember earlier when I said that GMK feels like Empire ... at first glance?  If 2000 and Megaguirus are Episode I & II in this equation, in the end, GMK is really just Episode III.  (But that's fine.  I like Episode III.) 

GMK ... definitely better.  3.75 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Another movie, another redo of continuity. 

This time, however, more than just the 1954 film is included.  We get Mothra and War of the Gargantuas, too, but with some revisionist history.  It seems that mankind's weaponry, particularly the vaunted maser cannons, succeeded in eliminating those monstrous threats. 

At the beginning, we get a Godzilla attack and we're introduced to Akane, a maser cannon operator.  She fires and hits the beast, but Godzilla is unfazed.  Many soldiers die and she's brought before a hearing on her actions.   

This is a point that is confusing for me, and it may only be because of poor English dubbing.  Akane's superiors say she missed and she concedes the point.  Well, she didn't miss.  I'd be willing to let that slide, thinking the military was too confident in their weapon and Akane was too guilt ridden to argue.  Except ... in the very next scene, in the prime minister's office, the characters discuss Godzilla's imperviousness to maser beams.  Seriously?  I really hope it's a translation problem. 

Whatever. 

A good bit of the next act is about creating Mechagodzilla and it's one of the coolest origins of any character in the franchise. 

They take the bones of Godzilla 1954 from the ocean floor and build a mecha from them.  Not only that, but they also take a cell and create a DNA computer for the machine.  This creates problems later. 

I mean, how cool is that?  Using Godzilla's ... cousin, perhaps, as a skeleton for their mechanical menace?  I love that. 

Even better?  It's haunted.   

When it first fights Godzilla, the Big G roars and something inside MG clicks.  The ghost, if you will, of the original Godzilla awakens and Mechagodzilla goes ... 

The destruction is great and Mechagodzilla's firepower is mighty impressive.  

The story of redemption for the pilot is rather by-the-numbers, but still well handled.  The admiring scientist and his daughter are pleasant enough.  The angry co-pilot, pissed at Akane for her earlier "failure," is predictable. 

So, Mechagodzilla is great ... 

... and Godzilla is boring. 

Yes, Godzilla's suit is the same (well, same design) as the one used in 2000 and Megaguirus, but it is, thankfully, no longer green with purple spikes.  It's well done and all the effects surrounding it are fine.  So why does it seem so rote? 

Godzilla exists.  He comes ashore and attacks.  He goes back to sea. 

Certainly, that's a formula we've seen time and again.  Why does it feel so lacking this time around? 

I think it's because the most interesting Godzilla in this movie is the one under tons of metal. 

Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla ... Kiryu is so cool.  3.75 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Well, this one is awesome! Godzilla bones are found, they make Kiryu, Fails to destroy Godzilla and instead destroys the city. they make Kiryu Version 1.5 and it works. I liked it because Kiryu is destructive, I don't because they used Godzilla 2000's suit. 

So, rating wise, i'll say 3.6 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!! 

Well, this one is like Godzilla vs Mecha Godzilla, but with Mothra and Kiryu takes Godzilla with him (at the end of the movie) to the bottom of Tokyo Trench, where he started ... I like this because it's like the last movie, but with more twists and connections to the first Mothra.   

So, rating wise, i'll say 3.7 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!!

A direct continuation of Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla, this movie succeeds because it continues a different movie, too. 

Yes, MechaG and Big G tear it up some more, but the new addition here is Mothra.  Along with Mothra, we also get Dr. Chujo (Kiroshi Koizumi), who appeared in the big bug's first film appearance back in 1961. 

We get the Fairies/Cosmos/Elias/Shobijin girls, too.  Something about them seems a bit off to me ... maybe it's their Casual Friday island wear this time.  They don't feel right. 

The plot is basically the same as the last movie: use this machine built upon OG Godzilla's bones to kill that other Godzilla.  But Mothra inserts itself into the situation by saying if humanity doesn't return Godzilla's bones to the ocean floor, Mothra will declare war on mankind. 

Wha?  Seems extreme and out of left field.  Plus, the Fairies' admonition that man shouldn't "touch the souls of the dead" is just strange.  Yes, the franchise will occasionally take a turn toward the fantastic, but c'mon.  Mothra's spokeweasels keep saying this over and over again in the film and no context is given ... until the very end when Dr. Chujo says, basically, mankind shouldn't mess with the natural order of life.  That makes a bit more sense than "don't touch the souls of the dead," don't you think?  Still, it's a very far-fetched reason for Mothra to declare war on humanity in my mind.  I guess they had to give the humans some reason to want to get rid of MechaG. 

Whatever.  The action is good.  Kiryu is mostly repaired and manages to seriously rough up Godzilla but good: 

Godzilla's wound from the absolute zero weapon in the previous film hasn't completely healed.  MechaG goes after it with those hyper masers and a hand drill, too, that cuts deep. 

In the end, Kiryu's brain switches over to old Godzilla again, but instead of tearing up the city, it grabs a Silly String-covered Godzilla (thanks to Mothra larvae) and flies them out to sea. 

I found the Kiryu reawakening to be overly coincidental, to say the least.  Plus, the Godzilla spirit in the mecha is apparently sentient and friendly, saying goodbye to the mechanic before he bails out.  That was a bit much. 

Akane (the heroine from the previous film) is in this one for a hot second and then she's gone.  That was a big mistake in my mind because I don't really care for Dr. Chujo's mechanic nephew all that much.  Or pretty much any of the other new characters they crammed in here.  It would have worked better if Akane was still the pilot and she had some sort of semi-adversarial and platonic relationship with the mechanic.  At least we would have a pre-existing connection to Akane.  But ... they didn't do that. 

A few beats from earlier Mothra films feel copied, especially the double-stuft egg routine.  Also, the landing of Mothra at the school was similar to the airport scene in the original film ... but seeing the symbol arrayed via schooldesks was a nice sight. 

Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S. ... I'd like to know what they were planning with that DNA freezer post-credits scene.  3.5 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Well, this one is one of my favorites. I liked it because a lot of the monsters like Gigan and Keizer Ghidorah. But Gigan was a little dumb because he cut his own head off. I hated it because the humans actually did something other than running or screaming. 

So, rating wise, i'll say 4.7 out of 5 Atomic Breaths of Awesomeness!!

Toho's fiftieth anniversary effort didn't blow up the box office, but it blows plenty up on screen.  (Yes, I mean that both ways.) 

There are homages and easter eggs all over the place.  The flying, drill-tipped ship is named Gotengo (as it was in the film Atragon); the fictitious planet about to strike the Earth is named Gorath (after the film of that name); the music being listened to by people at an Antarctic station is from the score of Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla; the aliens, the Xiliens, wear New Wave-like sunglasses, quite like their namesakes in Invasion of Astro-Monster; actors and actresses from the preceding five decades have roles of great importance ... The history is thick. 

Mankind stopped fighting each other years ago in order to fight monsters and now aliens have arrived, claiming to aid mankind against that planet which will hit our own.  It's a lie and the aliens are using the monsters to weaken mankind so they can use us like cattle. 

That's all fine and dandy.  Even though it's familiar, it's simple.  But they manage to screw it up.  They add mutants to the mix, and in so doing, tip the balance of the action away from the monsters and toward the humans. 

This is the movie's biggest failing.  I like the thought of these mutants having some sort of millennia-old connection to the aliens that can be flipped on like a switch, but that part is over so quickly and, somehow, has no further bearing on the rest of the film.  As for the rest of it, someone saw The Matrix and decided to jack up the martial arts and fight sequences, including wire-executed "bullet time" shots, and Neo-style mid-air laser beam stopping.  It's done well enough, but it's all over the top and it gets old.  Fast. 

In the first hour-and-change of the movie, there's about five-to-ten minutes of monster action and then about fifteen minutes of plot.  The rest is stupid Matrix-style action biz.   

Despite what many action movie fans will tell you, wall-to-wall action doesn't make for good movies.  It desensitizes the audience and can actually tire the viewer.  After all of the fighting in the first hour or so, by the time the real monster action gets going, you feel worn out and somehow bored by it.  

Well, at least I've felt sleepy by the time the monster fights really start up in the second hour.  But maybe that's just me. 

What else isn't so great?  The music.  I don't mind the pulse-pounding beats during the action scenes, but there's some sort of music all of the time, including schmaltzy synthesizer tunes during quiet moments.  It's more annoying than anything else.  The acting?  Over-the-top, in large measure because it goes with everything else.  But c'mon. 

Alright, alright.  I'm sure you're thinking I utterly hate this movie.  But I don't.  It's largely fun.  Big, dumb fun.  If I'm able to tune out during most of the Matrix crap in the first half, I can get comfy and enjoy the big battles in the last half. 

Zilla gets his quickly enough. 

I like Anguirus' speedball attack: 

Gigan is now utterly badass: 

Rodan gets some nice moments after a painfully stereotyped scene in New York between a pimp and a cop and a homeless guy: 

The three-on-one fight between Anguirus, Rodan, King Caesar and Godzilla is fun: 

Mothra isn't in the film too long, but her death is spectacular: 

Yes, most of the monster stuff is great.  The action is well done and the special effects are top notch. 

What's not good about the monsters?  Simply put, not enough time is spent on them.  The battles are painfully brief and the opponents seem to be no match for Godzilla (especially Hedorah, despite his apparent power in its first appearance).  Oh, and then there's Minya (Milla): 

The parts with him, the grandfather and the boy feel shoehorned in, and his appearance at the end of the movie is just odd.  It feels like it's from a different film. 

Godzilla: Final Wars ... if you can get past the people, there's a good hour's worth of monster fun.  3.75 out of five atomic breath blasts.

A co-production between Rankin/Bass (yes, the classic Christmas special people) and Tsuburaya Productions, Last Dinosaur is pretty straightforward.  At first. 

A crazed millionaire big-game hunter also happens to be an oil baron thanks to polar exploration.  One such expedition finds dinosaurs and we're all set to think that this guy is ready to go hunting for a Tyrannosaurus. 

It takes a turn, though, and not one I saw coming.  Yes, they find dinosaurs, pterosaurs and a large extinct mammal, but their capsule goes missing and they end up living there.  For months. 

It's a twist, but it gets boring.  Sure, there are some cavemen to scare off a few times and the tyrannosaur shows up a few times, but it's just dull.  Then a couple of the people decide to leave once they find the capsule.  But not the rich hunter guy.  He decides to stay to kill the "last dinosaur," and, thanks to Nancy Wilson's singing, we understand that he, too, is the "last dinosaur." 

Because it's a Japanese co-production, the dinosaurs are realized thanks to guys in suits.  Yes, they look goofy and cheap.  What did you expect?   

Complaints?  For a wartime photographer, Joan Van Ark's character seems awfully prone to cliché accidents and she doesn't take many pictures.  The cavemen don't pose much of a threat.  The borer capsule seems mighty small and light.  Richard Boone (Have Gun, Will Travel), who plays the rich hunter, seems prone to vocal volume control issues and bursts of anger for no apparent reason.  My biggest problem with the movie is actually part of his character: they can't seem to find a pair of sunglasses that fit his face: 

The Last Dinosaur ... this was probably a waste of time.  0.5 out of five atomic breath blasts.

Well, this one is Horrible because there are multiple Dinosaurs,so it's not The Last Dinosaur.  And the special effects suck.  And the charcters are annoying. 

So, rating wise i'll say 1.22234 out of 5 Atomic Farts of Awfulness